my life

new found love (again)

2012-02-04T21:34:00.002+08:00

Sup everyone. I went to Sim Lim today, finally! To check out the prices of my beloved AT2020. I saw it in a couple of stores, 3 stores actually and the prices were $230 and $240 (including a pop filter). Er, saw some pop filters as well and they cost a bomb?! Like $38? I was sure I don't have $230 in my bank so I didn't buy it. It feels so awesome just looking at it?! In real life?! Haha!

But anyway, at the store, we asked if they have any other more affordable microphones and this woman showed me 2 from Samson, a brand I actually know (God I'm turning into a gadget freak), one only cost $80 but I thought that the box was so small????? Then she showed me another which was $100++ and I thought it was not bad! I forgot how much it was but I went to another store and they sold it at $149. Not bad I guess? So I went online to do some research and watch some review and it actually came out fine! It also comes with a bag and stand (just like the AT2020) and it's also a USB microphone and it's... So much cheaper!

I WANT IT SO BADLY.

I don't know. Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Is it too expensive? Hahahaha...

I WANT IT. URGH. I think I might have $150 in my bank... I hope I have more so I can get a pop filter too. Haha! Fat hope. AHHHHH. I REALLY WANT IT.

Things about trust

2012-02-03T23:25:00.002+08:00

It's really hard to trust someone who had broken your trust before?

Really hard to trust someone who obviously only find you when they really need help and only when they need help. Actually for me right now, it's just really hard to trust anyone.

You keep my heart busy

2012-01-30T21:37:00.002+08:00

Hangover

2012-01-29T19:06:00.003+08:00

It takes two hands to clap. If I'm the only one putting in effort then it's not gonna work. I'm tired, unless you put in a little effort as well, or everything will just end here. What he said was true, I always thought our friendship was strong, always thought I'm important to you. Guess not. If this can bring us to where we are now, it's weak. We don't have trust in each other. You're right. And he is right too. Why put myself in this state for someone who doesn't care about me at all.

7th Day of the Lunar New Year

2012-01-29T18:53:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday everyone? Haha I haven't been blogging proper so I decided to take some time off to blog today. Here's a little summary on what I did for the Lunar New Year!

New Year Eve

We had the traditional reunion dinner steamboat at home! YUMS! Cheese tofu in steamboat, new steamboat favourite. Hehe.

CNY Day 1

We had no where to go therefore we went shopping at IKEA! Had lou hei and meatballs there.

CNY Day 2

Went to my 2nd Aunt's home for lunch followed by my 4th Aunt's for dinner and mahjong! My 4th Aunt has a karaoke set at home that cost her $1.6K! That's so crazy and the songs aren't very new either... But I like her microphone! It sounds great haha. Played mahjong with my uncle, cousin and dad... Lost like a dollar.

CNY Day 3

Relatives and friends came over to our house to bai nian~!

CNY Day 5

Went to meet Lx, Yeo and Whua after school for dinner at plaza, then went to Zc's house to gamble. Won $3! Not bad not bad. Stayed till morning then cabbed home.

CNY Day 6, no pictures because I forgot to re-size it. Went to my cousin's new bungalow. It was FREAKING NICE I swear!!! The design was so so so soooooo pretty!!! But I think it's a little too big for 2 person. It was originally 2-storey but my cousin went to add another floor AND even added like a bigger balcony, another room, etc. MAD.

CNY Day 7, which is today, I'm staying home to lou hei and eat century egg porridge~

Only the weak can't adapt to changes

2012-01-26T01:15:00.003+08:00

Nobody gives a shit about me. It's like "oh you're sad, ok, I'm not even gonna waste my time telling you to cheer up. I believe you'll get better on your own." or just "oh I see, hey do you know what I did today? I did this and it's so bloody exciting." What? All I want was someone to listen to what I have to say. I've been bottling everything up for so long. I feel like soon I'll just drown and suffocate in my own problems, thoughts and feelings. I feel so.... Amazed how people can be so indifferent. I'm sorry if I hurt you in this process of letting you know that you're not a good friend. But I'm serious. I didn't even get a "why?". Up till now it's still quite hard to believe. I'm fucking upset. I feel lousy, stupid, weak, dumb, retarded, most of all pathetic. I tried, I tried so hard but I still failed. You asked why I ignored you all of a sudden. I don't know either. I just want things to be right. I can't be selfish but why does it seem like even when I ignore you, I'm selfish? Everything is do complicated right now. I swear I am willing to give up everything just to rewind time. I just wanna be happy. Is that too much to ask for? I just wanna be happy...

Happy Lunar New Year

2012-01-23T22:02:00.001+08:00

Have a great one!

Gong xi fa cai, huat lots!

XoXo

A random tuesday

2012-01-17T23:49:00.004+08:00

Hi! To a site lacking of happy posts yet again. I'm suppose to be doing my report which was supposedly "due" last night but I dragged it till this evening and now it's gonna be 12AM and I've yet to finish it. Luckily I have Ryan, which is why I don't have to do it now! I feel bad but I'm rather busy these days.

Wonder if I've mentioned it but my aunt and uncle from London is here to stay and we have to entertain them every now and then, going out for dinners at weird places. Yup. Well I've been late for school nearly everyday, today, I only managed to go to school for the last lesson but it's better than yesterday where I missed everything.

Yesterday I went to Bugis in the evening with Ash for CNY shopping and we bumped into Weiting!:) Shopping went well, went very well I suppose. 2 dress, 2 top, 1 shorts for $75!!!!!! Love Bugis. Hahaha. I still need accessories! I'll look for them another day. We walked till the shops started closing... I was so tired I only had 3 hours of sleep and even though I didn't go to school, I spent the day ironing clothes. :/

Well today, after school I went to meet Lx whom I haven't met in 3 weeks and 5 days! That's really long btw. We took a lot of pictures but I'm tired now so maybe next time..........

We had pepper lunch at Cck and then we started walking around, shopping. I love that shorts :/ But I want it in black! The quality is good but I don't wanna waste money on a pair of green shorts that might look weird. I don't know. I'd rather continue looking for a black pair. Lx got herself a very nice black high waist jeans shorts at 20$! So worth it...

Went home and changed and went out again to Boat quay. My aunt and uncle met their friend who was also British. He is really nice but they kept match-making me with his son, a magician. Haha! We had dinner by the river side, it was windy, the atmosphere was nice and Timbre was just opposite so we could hear the music playing. The bill added up to $378 for 7 people! And we ate like fried rice, noodles, satay, you tiao, spring roll... etc? All lousy food. Not even a small bowl of shark fin or abalone. Hahaha.

Anyway. I gotta go. Have fun yall XOXO

I miss you, I miss you

2012-01-16T01:53:00.000+08:00

Follow your bliss

2012-01-13T14:16:00.000+08:00

Unexpected weather forecast

2012-01-11T21:30:00.002+08:00

I said... You are my sun that makes rainbows appear in my sky after all the rain.....
Hahaha no you're not. You're a sign to yet another huge storm.

Feelings

2012-01-11T17:31:00.002+08:00

Hey guys, know I haven't been blogging proper. I've been somewhere else but since I decided to leave that place, I'm back here. The new year as I've mentioned hasn't been good at all. Somehow... I feel a lot more weaker. Like the layer of self-protection I had is being taken away from me by force. I feel vulnerable. There hasn't been a night where I'll go to bed with a dry pillow. There hasn't been a day that I feel like "I think I'm kinda happy today". I think I've gotten at least ten times more sensitive than before.

I woke up this morning at 7.40am, looked at my phone, and tears just start trickling down my cheeks. My dad sent me to school this morning, during the entire journey I was holding myself together. Then I arrived in school, none of my friends came for class. My classmate then ask "are you going for his birthday party tomorrow?" I replied yes and he said this.

"Nobody go your birthday party why you wanna go for people's one."

I don't know how to feel. I was alone in class, all I could do was laugh it off then hold back my tears again. Why..... Why can't people put themselves in other people's shoes, why can't people think before they speak like that. I went home after that class. I didn't want to go home but I had no where else to go, got no one else to talk to either.

I kept thinking, what on earth did I do to deserve all these.

You just ignored me and treat me like I don't fucking exist with no reasons. Do I deserve this? Every time you need someone to be there for you, every time you need someone to entertain you, every time you need someone to talk to. Call me. Call me. Call me. Even when I don't want to, I call you. Even when I'm sleepy, I call you. Even when I'm dying, I'm there for you. I don't get it. I treat you the best. I gave you the best I had. And this is what I get in return. Now when I need someone to talk to, now when I need someone to be there, nobody is there.

I wish you'd feel how I feel. Then maybe you'll know how much it hurts and will finally stop putting me through this.

dream catchers

2012-01-10T22:59:00.002+08:00

They say a dream catcher catches all your bad dreams and trap them in the web so you'll only have good ones:) My first post in 2012! It hasn't been good so far, according to the predictions for my Zodiac, it's gonna be a bad year. What's new? I hope everyone is having a good 2012 so far though. Peace.

Happy New Year in Advance

2011-12-27T21:17:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone! As most of you should know, I'm going overseas tomorrow! It's gonna be a long journey... Instead of budget air like we took the other time, we're taking Philippines airline so we'll be landing in Manila. After which we'll have to take like hours of car journey to Pangasinan? However it's spelt. I'm only gonna be back on 9th Jan in the morning like 4am? So I wouldn't be able to wish you all a happy 2012.... Nevertheless, that's actually why I'm here today. Haha.

Happy New Year!! Happy 2012 everyone!!!!!!!!

Time seem to fly this year in 2011. Shall we do a recap? Hahaha 2011 started off badly for me, I don't really wanna talk about it so we'll leave the start as that. Hmmmmmm what did I do exactly!? Haha oh ok. I saw my Beast boys again!!! I totally cannot go a year without seeing them, it's impossible, hahaha. I went for F1 for the first time, to see GD&TOP and Seungri. Errrr I went for internship? Was it this year? Haha! Ok it was this year. At Architect 61, a kinda fun experience I guess. Then I went clubbing for the first time this year too. And I got drunk for the first time this year too. Switched my phone to a blackberry this year... And got an iPad for my birthday!!!!!!!!!! :P I'm actually blogging with it now. What else. Oh someone important came back....

Overall, a terrible year. I fall sick like 1037492739 times this year, had a lot of unhappiness, stress and everything bad.

Thank god 2011 is ending and I am honestly looking forward to a whole better year 2012! Yes, and what do we do before new year? Have new year resolutions!!!!!!!

My 2012 new year resolutions:

1. Study hard for the last sem of polytechnic. Make sure I pass everything so I won't have to suffer anymore.

2. Be healthier. Yup that's very important. I haven't been exercising since the holidays started because I've been forever sick. I wanna exercise more!!!!! And eat more healthily.

3. Don't worry, be happy! I worry a lot, I'm seriously a worry freak. Other than that, I'm also extremely sensitive, all of these seem to be stoping me from being happy so I really wish I'll improve? Hahaha. Sometimes I feel like I've forgotten how it's like to be happy.

4. Lose weight. LOL.

5. Be less short-tempered. I assume it's because of all the rubbish that's happening around me.

6. Be more courageous. Start doing things!!!!!

7. Be more responsible, mature and sensible.

8. Be more kind, nice, helpful, generous. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

9. Be an angel.

10. Last of all, communicate with God more.

Okay! I'm done. I'll miss you all so much... I'll get y'all presents!!!! If I can find anything nice. Have a blast!!!!! 2012!!!!!!

liar liar

2011-12-23T23:42:00.000+08:00

Tell me why these roads keep leading, leading you right back to me.

"Thought you were someone..." Goodbye to no one.

Happy birthday (III)

2011-12-20T15:37:00.001+08:00

Celebrated my birthday with Weiting and Huiling today!♥ We went to MOF at Lot 1. Another simple yet meaningful celebration! Thank you 2 for the present and cake! I was really surprised, Huiling was holding on to the paper bag from the start and all along I just thought it was her own stuff O___O I love the present!! I wasn't expecting it but yay I really love it!!!! ♥.♥ Hahaha I had fun with the two of them they're so funny haha! THANK YOU TWO!!! LOVE U TWO♥♥♥

Happy birthday Joker (II)

2011-12-19T21:29:00.002+08:00

Celebrated my birthday with the clique today ♥ We went to Scape for Sakae dinner buffet! Erm. Got tricked by them, I honestly thought they were going there separately!! -_- It was a short celebration, the cake came in after the dinner. Nevertheless, it was a meaningful one to me. Thank you all who came, who made time to come. I love the present! It was very unexpected, I thought it was a really thoughtful gift. I have my eyes set on the hand balm. Honestly been wanting to find one!!! The cake is so cute! I never thought I would have another "Mrs Joker" cake haha! Once again, thank you Ashley, Lexin, Zhichye, Yeoliang, Weihua and Weihong for the cake, present, effort, time and money! I♥YOU ALL! *flying kisses*

Happy birthday Joker

2011-12-19T14:03:00.002+08:00

Happiest 23rd Birthday my baby Joker!!!!! 생일축하해요 주녕오빠 ♥♥♥♥ Another year has passed, another year of loving you and your music. Words cannot express how much I love this guy here and words cannot express how perfect he is to me.

Perfect rap, perfect flow, perfect moves, perfect eyes, perfect hair, perfect swag, perfect lips, perfect build. Sometimes I really wonder if he is God's bias too, otherwise why is he so perfect?^ㅠ^

We met twice this year, adding on to our memories together, and we're gonna meet again very soon right?^ㅛ^

Once again, happiest 23rd birthday to the coolest rapper, my dearest bbboy Yong Junhyung!!! I hope you'll stay happy and healthy always, stop having so much stress because it's really bad for your health! Continue producing awesome music, and continue working towards your dreams of becoming an outstanding producer and artist. From today onward I hope you'll have more happy days to come and I hope you'll be successful in everything that you do and that everything will go smoothly! Since it's winter, I'll just take the opportunity to say that please keep yourself warm and be careful of the cold! B2st's schedule is so hectic these days, you boys are flying everywhere! I know your condition is bad so please take care of yourself ok?

I will love you for the rest of my life. I LOVE YOU, YONG JUNHYUNG. So much that sometimes I find it scary too. I love you, love everything about you. ♥♥♥♥

x'mas as a class!

2011-12-18T15:54:00.002+08:00

Hohoho! Today is DAC10's Christmas party!!!! Met Isabel and Roy at the station, coincidentally met Chyau Honng when I was waiting for Isabel and also met Jiahui on the way to Michelle's house! It was supposed to be at the roof top but because it was raining crazily, the venue was changed to the lift lobby at Michelle's house.

There were so much food! Well I tried this thing called "Bacon bits" for the first time, apparently it's hard bits of bacon... People seemed to love it but I think it kinda sucked. HAHAHA. It just tasted so hard and weird! Like meat candy? Eeew. Anyway haha food was good!

There was a mini cake for Ryan and I! Didn't get to make any wish though cuz Ryan went to blow off the candle...... Before he made his wish -__- After everyone came we started our Secret Santa. I got a pair of Junhyung socks (YIPEEEEEEEE!!!!!), a ipod/phone holder and a cute cat ears ring from Ziping! Thank you!!!!! I bought a set of nail polish for Michelle haha.

After that we got into 2 groups for Pictionary! Which was damn fun. HAHAHA I LOVE PICTIONARY omg they said I'm the best at drawing HAHAHA I KNOW RIGHT HAHAHAHA ok stop. It was really fun!!!! I mean some of us can't draw which makes it even more fun! Haha then we played "zhong ji mi ma" and I died 3 times? Had to eat chicken wing with ice-cream, coke with garlic chili and turkey with garlic chili and ice-cream. EEEEEW. ANYTHING WITH GARLIC CHILI IS GROSS AND SICK. Went home at about 10PM++++!^^

Merry X'mas DAC10!

merry tuesday ☃

2011-12-13T16:22:00.003+08:00

Taken by a free webcam, now that should explain it's quality haha! A totally unmerry boring Tuesday today. Errrr I have like a lot going on in my brain right now but I'm not exactly sure how I should put them in words you know.......

Ok. First of all, after thinking for a long time (I'm starting to suspect if my headache have any relationship with me having too many thoughts these days), I really think there's something wrong with us. It's not the matter of whether I did anything wrong or not, it's just I don't wanna get myself involve in drama, in your drama. I might sound like the world's most selfish person right now, but I really don't wanna get hurt anymore. Remember I talked about something called 'self-protection' before? This is it. I thought about it, if you got tired of her and you can treat her this way, you can do the same to me. So instead of getting too attached to you, might as well keep a distance from you. Rather than making you important in my life and be devastated when you leave.

I'm not sure is it because I've been hurt too many times or rather I've been hurt too much before (can you see the difference.....? yes right...?) that I've become so protective of myself. I can't stand losing important people in my life. So since that hurt is foreseeable, I'd rather not make anyone important. I don't know....... what I'm trying to say.

Major headache now, gonna go out later so I guess I should rest!

When it rains it pours.☂

2011-12-11T12:20:00.003+08:00

Hi! Blogging again because I have no life lor. I'm in a sweater right now, munching down a bowl of weird kokokrunch with milk. It taste so gross but I need energy!!! And I'm home alone. :(

I was suppose to work today, some usher at a Cantonese concert, 60$!!!!! Gone because I'm sick. It feels terrible to be sick ESPECIALLY DURING THE HOLIDAYS! This is ridiculous. I really wanted to go to work, $60 is a lot for a poor person like me, I can buy so many things with it! I thought I could make it but I couldn't even walk to the toilet properly just now. Just felt like I was gonna faint on the way, again. My head's burning, I can feel it burning and my eyes too. It just sucks argh. I was getting better yesterday when I took the medicine for fever but I ran out of it!!! So yeah, fever has got me again. :( Thank you Chengsheng for agreeing to replace me!!!! Otherwise I'll just die at work seriously. I really really hope that I can get well soon...... Like ASAP. Like by later. I have plans for tomorrow! Mom's gonna bring me shopping. I MUST GO. Hahaha.

I feel so bad since last night. I promised I'll check my phone everyday but I didn't. Arg. I was bbm-ing with Zc and the ringtone was so noisy so I put it to vibration and I also went to bathe at that time... Why?!!! :( I think someone's mad at me for not picking up his call all the way from Korea and for breaking my promise........ Ah...... I'm gonna carry my phone with me wherever I go from today onward! :(

My blog song isn't working haha too sick to change it now.

thoughts

2011-12-10T20:04:00.003+08:00

Hey everyone, as you all might know through my Twitter, I have fallen sick. It was so cold last night, I got up a few times, lowering the fan, getting a jacket, adjusting the fan here and there, finally switching it off... Woke up with a major headache then I realized I'm down with high fever. Nevertheless, thoughts continue running through my mind. I thought that I should keep everything simple, after all, ignorance is bliss. However I just couldn't help it.

What are the important elements in keeping a relationship last?

1. Good/open/honest communication and a willingness to change.
2. Knowledge that a relationship takes hard work and laughter.
3. Respect for one another.
4. Ability to “nip problems in the bud.” At the first sign of conflict or an argument, take immediate steps to resolve the disagreement. If you don’t, it will grow bigger each time you fight.

And others... That I thought wasn't exactly relevant. I found this on the internet, it was meant to be for love relationships but I feel it works the same for any other relationships as well. I really hope that from today onward, if there are anything that you don't like from me, you will let me know. Because if you don't, I'll think that you're ok with it and I might do it again in future which will cause things to get worse.

I admit I do have times when I get irritated due to certain things that some of my friends do and I don't let them know. But that is because I know I'm not perfect either, therefore I shouldn't expect the people around me to be perfect and I have to accept them for who they are. Their lives don't revolve around me and I shouldn't force them to change just because I don't like it. Because I know that I will won't keep it in my heart, because I know that even if I'm unhappy with them, it's short-term and when I wake up the next day, it's all gone. Because I know that even if they irritate me, I'll forgive them because I still want them as my friends. I'm not a person who will bear grudges, some of my closer friends know this because I rant to them and the next day I'll be like "er I'm not angry anymore", and it's true.

Well... I'm not sure if it's because I'm having a high fever... I don't exactly know where this post is bringing me to. I just hope you all know that my temper is really bad. It doesn't mean I don't like you guys. My family knows that, I can scream at them because of very minor things, but at the end of the day, we all know that I still love them dearly. I just hope you guys will accept me for who I am and if there is anything, anything that you don't like about me, let me know. Because as mentioned above in the elements that keep a relationship strong, there has to be a willingness to change. And I'm willing to change if it's for the better. Who likes being a bad person right? A relationship needs the effort of both parties to stay strong, I am willing to put in all my effort and I hope everyone are too.

Anyway, that aside, I've been really happy recently.... But... I don't know. I just feel so happy, so happy, so happy to have you. I just feel like... Even if I lose everyone, as long as I have you, I'll be fine. Like I said, you seem to be my sun that's not only planting rainbows in my life but also giving me warmth. I haven't felt so loved in awhile. And to clear any misunderstandings, You is a very very close friend of mine that I love and cherish a lot a lot a lot a lot. A friend I would love to keep forever. :)

holidays!!!!!!!!!

2011-12-09T19:05:00.002+08:00

It's the holidays!!!!!! Love it, LOVE IT when my last paper goes super well!!!!! I'm so happy that it's the holidays. The few weeks or months before today was horrible. As the saying goes "when it rains, it pours". It really does. You're probably my sun that's making rainbows appear in my sky. HAHAHAHAHA that's so cheesy. I know. Hahaha! But yeah things are starting to improve now. And I'm happy!

I'm really exhausted, I want to stay away from any kind of drama. You can say that I'm running away from my problems, but I'm really tired. I just want a simple life. I wanna keep everything simple from today onwards. And everyone should too.

Well I received a little present from someone I don't know today. This person actually took my recording and mix it with his to make a collab without telling me......;~; He Youtube messaged me "hi I have a present for you". My first thought was "is this a stalker message?" haha... I'm pretty impressed with the end product.^^ Thank YOU! Even though you won't see this^^

HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOHOO.

before holidays start

2011-12-08T19:27:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone! Lacking of proper, happy posts am I right? Yes I just published the previous post and now I'm trying to type out a happy post. Mood swinger level 3847923. Anyway it's Decemeber!!!!! Did I say that before? Oh well it's already the 8th of December and as you all know, or not know... It's my favourite month of the year! So many things to look forward to in December!

First up, exams will be ending tomorrow 12.40PM sharp!!!!!! Which sucks because I haven't started studying for my paper which will kill me because it's like memorizing type? Like Law papers, like GBE papers. So yes..... I don't get it why she wanna make a test? I mean there was a project already leh why is she so mean to us?!!!!!! But anyway, totally look forward to the death of MST! Next, I'm looking forward to my pay to reach me!!! I know, I know, my original plan was to save that sum of money but hey holidays are here and you can't avoid spending during holidays! Unless you wanna be a lifeless person during the holidays.......

Speaking of pay, I'll be working as an usher this coming Sunday and NOPE, I'm totally not looking forward to it. It's work man, who looks forward to work?

Next up, am looking forward to my holidays!!!!!!!!! I wanna go Kbox, I wanna go ice-skating, I wanna go and eat steamboat, Sakae sushi, Korean BBQ, I wanna go stay-over at people's houses, play midnight mahjong or weird games, I wanna go clubbing, go crazy, go outings with my clique whom I haven't seen in awhile!♥ YUP. I WANNA GO SEE THE XMAS LIGHTS TOO. LOL.

Kinda, KINDA looking forward to my class's Christmas party on the 18th! "Kinda" because it's at Toa Payoh which is quite far?

Then I'm looking forward to bb Junhyung's 23rd birthday where I'll be celebrating it of course. I'll buy a cake and record myself singing a birthday song. JUST KIDDING. HAHAHAHA but I'll celebrate it, I DON'T CARE. I'll drag everyone to celebrate it with me. Hehehehehe.

Looking forward to Junseob's anniversary!!!!!! Which is, ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! HOW AWESOME IS THIS?!!!! So yes I will be celebrating it together. YES. HAHA. Speaking of my birthday, I'm not exactly looking forward to it, first off I don't wanna be 19 so soon and secondly, I don't know what I'll be doing for my birthday too so yeah. I love celebrating people's birthdays but mine.... Meh. But anyway, here's the current plan for my birthday.

On the 20th, I'm planning to have dinner with my classmates who will be planned by my manager Fai. On 21st itself, I'll be dinning with my family and most probably, most probably, most probably will head to a club after that to party~~~~! Which will be planned by my Sis. Since it's on the Wednesday so it's ladies night!!!!^^ So yup that's the current plan, EVERYONE is invited for the clubbing part on Wednesday night! I'm free on the 22nd and I guess 23rd...? I'm not sure if I have activities with my relatives for Christmas eve or Christmas ;_; Because I think some of my relatives are going overseas.... I'm not sure if I'm free on 19th since it's Junhyung's birthday, I might be going on a date with him.

YUP and then I'm looking forward to Christmas obviously I'm a Christmas person I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!! And lastly, looking forward to Philippines trip! It's kinda like a getaway from life in Singapore and my Aunt from Englang will be back too so I'm expecting a more eventful trip compared to the previous one!

Oh man I'm so hungry and I really need to start studying.

Once bitten, twice shy.

2011-12-08T18:47:00.003+08:00

Sigh. It's really weird how we just got back into each others' lives like this. But it's really nice to have someone here for me everyday. Waking up to good morning messages and going to bed with good night messages, having you call me almost everyday, having you tell me how special I am to you, having you share things with me, having you talk to me everyday, having you sing for me, and basically having you in my life, again. If I'm back in 2007, I'd probably be extremely happy and enjoying every single bit of it, but now it's just... The feeling of warmth, yet insecure. You left once.......... I really cannot afford to lose you again......

Tick Tack

2011-12-08T12:31:00.001+08:00

being perfect is unnecessary

2011-12-06T23:30:00.002+08:00

Thoughts flood my mind these days, I'm so tired of thinking. I'm so tired of constantly having thoughts? Well I figured out that I should say this.

I'm gonna throw all those thoughts I had in the beginning away because they don't matter any more and I'm gonna tell you how I feel right now. After all these days of thinking, I've figured out that I can't just push all the blame on you. For you to have thoughts like that, I definitely contributed in one way or another. Let's just say that I still have no idea exactly why you're being like that, but from what I assume the reason is to be, I really don't feel that it's worth it to ruin our friendship because of this. To me you're not just a friend, whenever someone ask me to name a friend, you're definitely and always on the top of my list. You're my best friend. You're so important to me and I'd never want to lose you because of something so minor like this. I'm sorry if I did anything that made you upset, all I can say now is that hurting you is the last thing I would ever want to do. I'm sorry I wasn't sensitive enough to know how you were really feeling. I just hope you'll know that I really cherish you as my friend...

During this period of time, I realized who my real friends are. Just because my problems doesn't affect them or doesn't involve them, they stay away from it. It really sucks to know that, because "cheer up" "I'll be here for you" are just words and actions speak louder than words. One of my friend frequently smsed me to check on how I am, it was until then then I realized that this is what you call being there for me and truly caring for me. To that friend of mine, you know who you are, thank you:)

I want to be like her, I want to be there for my friends when they need me. I really suck at cheering people up, I swear, I always have the least idea of what to say, but I want to be there. I want my friends to ask me for help if they need it. I know it's hard, or rather impossible to be the perfect friend. I know my temper, I get irritated easily but I know the problem lies with me. I scold people when they irritate me but at the end of the day I still love them and I'll still try and do my best to be a good friend.

Strangers.... To friends.... To close friends.... To strangers.

This cycle happened to me so many times it just feels like it's time to get used to it. He probably don't read my blog so I'll just say haha. Please don't tell him like seriously it's just easier to name names than to keep going "this person" "that person". I used to be really close, well that's what I feel, to Zc. So close I even listed him as one of my best friends. We msn sms bbm everyday? For like.... Months? But then all of a sudden we just stopped. I don't know why, or I can't remember, or I just don't know. I tried to save the close relationship we had but I obviously failed. It just feels so weird. He used to be so concern about me but now it's like.... Whatever... I really don't know why. But that's not the point. The point is...........

I'm so close with you now. At one point I know that this cycle will happen one day and that I should just expect it to come any time. Sometimes when you stop replying me, I panic. I don't wanna lose you again.

When it rains it pours.☂

2011-12-04T21:37:00.001+08:00

hi december

2011-12-01T20:17:00.003+08:00

Thanks! I've been getting so many of these recently but it's my first time getting like 3 together? Haha I'm really happy, thank you all! Well I wanted to record so badly today but as usual I don't have time. I don't have sound proof walls. And I have a lot to record. I hate this feeling. I like recording things asap and uploading them asap but you know when you just can't.... It just sucks.

And it makes me feel irritated and yes everything just sucks from there. I had CI presentation today, my presentation consist of 2 parts, the intro and another part at the back. I prepared for the second part, I went to school and they told me like "oh you have to present the front part". I thought I was screwed since I didn't had time to prepare any script for the first part but I thought wrong. I've never ever presented without script in my life. I started the presentation and I did so fucking well. HAHAHA. Yes I really did. I felt so good like everyone was listening and my tutor was smiling and nodding. However I pretty much screwed up my second part which I had script for. WOWWWWW. Haha I kinda had a mini panic attack at all the weird words I had to say out. Overall I think I still did ok though I thought I was gonna own it after I finished the first part. Haha.

I'm exhausted. After the presentation I just wanna rest for days, but then it hit me. I have AFA test tmrw and uh IS on Monday and MA and PIET. Life sucks. You know there's just SO MUCH to do and I can't even focus because I really wanna record the damn songs! I don't wanna wait till like Thursday, like when I finished MST that's like more than a week later, it sucks. Everything sucks. School is really a pain in the ass and what's more needing to study all these uninteresting things............

Recently, I also realized that the attitudes of some of my friends... Haha kidding, just one of them actually haha has changed. I really have no idea why and how someone can have this kind of drastic change. You know it's like in the past that person used to react in a way and now it's in a different way? It's just weird. I mean so what if we're not as close anymore? So you're not gonna care anymore? Not that I really want your care but I'm just curious. Just because you have another person to care for, you can't continue caring for me? I don't get it, is your care limited? Honestly speaking I am quite annoyed. It's not the matter of you caring about me but the fact that you're this kind of person. Ugh.

It's December already, the last month of 2011. Time flies.

Mnet Asian Music Awards 2011

2011-11-30T19:11:00.002+08:00

MAMA 2011 is finally here in Singapore! Yesterday night. Let's go all the way back to Sunday where I went to the airport to see my bbgirls 2NE1 and Simon D!!!♥^__^♥

We waited at the CIP and suddenly some reporters came. The camera man came up to me and asked me to flip over my 2NE1 fanboard and they started filming us...... After awhile the female reporter came and asked me in broken English who is my favourite member and I told her Minzy. Then she asked why and I said "very cute" but she didn't get me haha! So she went to tell the camera man and the camera man was like "you like Gong Minji? why? reason?" and I'm like "cute..." lol at that point Fai was like "귀여워요" and they all got so excited like omg she knows Korean let's all interview her!! LOL.

So they asked Fai, who was holding my Simon B board, how she knows him and I said Oh My School! and they were like "oh... TV programme..." then they asked why and I said "멋있어요!" and they were all so excited again haha! They're so cute seriously then we had even more conversation with them in Korean it was so amazing!^^ Oh... Then they asked me to sing a 2NE1 song but I blanked out LOL.

After many moments 2NE1 finally came out!!!!!! I only saw Bommie's hair because it was so bright haha but they said she waved so yeah. And more moments later, Simon D came out as well~ We went to MBS after lunch but didn't get to see Suju at all.

Then on Monday night, Yy and I went to MBS to wait for Beast!!!!!♥ It was a last minute decision heh. We waited for so damn long I was soooooooo sooooo sleepy because I woke up at 8AM that morning. There were two fan gazing areas, all the fans were at one and only Yy and I were in another. I was sitting down when Yy suddenly got me to stand because she saw this girl that looks very "dua pai" LOL. So I walked like all the way to her and I'm like "don't know leh" cuz she was wearing sunglasses and all. Then I turned away and saw all the people in the other gazing area taking pictures of her so I walked back and I'm like "...... look a bit like Jessica leh" then it was her!!!! SNSD Jessica! Omg hahaha she was mad pretty her face is really small and her dressing was really nice! Hyoyeon came out too after awhile, followed by Nicky Lee where Yy had an epic conversation with him. After that Apink HyunA and Beast came at 3AM?! I was so tired after that we just cabbed home and all.

Had 3 hours of sleep then woke up again to head to the Singapore Indoor Stadium to queue for the MAMA Red Carpet! Managed to be the first few hundreds to get in!^^ Waited for so long and finally at like 3.45PM? They gave us a wrist tag and let us in!

B2st came out sooooo early that we didn't get to find a nice spot on time. Somehow all of the pictures are not focus tooㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜ

I was so sad and all and pissed off with the people who were blocking and pushing me and I didn't know I caught Junhyung in the above picture so I'm just like fml fml fml fml fml fml all I can take are their back views but then suddenly when I was snapping the pictures.... Junhyung turned around!!!!!!!#$%^!#$^!$% I'm like OMG HEHEHEHEHEHEHE.♥♥♥♥ I know I'm delusional but he might just be looking for me. HAHA. Yoseob's butt look so sexy haha and Junhyung's hair is just soooooooooo cute!♥

I didn't take any pictures of Simon D because I was so sad over my B2st pictures and he was right after them.

A Pink's back views.

Huh Gak's back viewㅠㅠ

SnoopDogg! His hair omg damn epic.

Joongki!!! I was like *takes pictures* *view* "omg he is so cute!". Haha I took them for Fai who requested it haha.

Baek Jiyoung

Yoon Eunhye

And then I was soooo happy because I HAVE AWESOME PICTURES OF MY BBGIRLS 2NE1!!!!♥♥♥♥ Bom is so gorgeous!!!! Her hair is super gorgeous omg she looks like an anime character!

Minzy-yah!!!!!! Are you looking over???!♥^^♥

SNSD! Their dresses were super duper pretty!♥

Pretty Jessica!

Will.I.Am and Apl.de.ap!

Taking Suju pictures can die seriously, not as pretty as my 2NE1 pictures because Elfs went crazy and there's like people who can actually be like "EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME" then push you to the back and steal your spot. SERIOUSLY?!! Arg.

Eunhyuk!!!!!!!!!! And Kyuhyun!

Mad handsome Eunhyuk seriously and my pretty boy who was all smiles that day, Sungmin!♥♥

Donghae!!!!!!!♥♥

Went for Pasta Mania with Lele after the red carpet and cabbed home^^ I was so tired but should be happy that I can see my bbboys again after so long! After... a few months actually HAHAHA.

On Rainy Days in Fiction

2011-11-26T22:58:00.002+08:00

saturday night

2011-11-26T22:34:00.002+08:00

Hi all :) Being stuck at home on a Saturday night is really not fun at all. I wanted to join my sis but I thought you know, I can rest at home on a weekend... Lol. Joke. What the hell is rest?!! I don't need that. Haha. So well I was loitering around the net desperately looking for blogs to read... and all of the sudden I had the thought of.... Studying. OH WOW. HAHA. But I obviously didn't lah, if I did I wouldn't be here right now. Gah.

I wished my friends are all like Zc. Hahahaha I jokingly asked him to come over for midnight mahjong and he asked "who?". Too bad I know that no one else will be so on lor. -_- What a meaningless blog post. LOL.

............

2011-11-25T20:13:00.001+08:00

2011-11-25T20:07:00.000+08:00

love is a cycle

2011-11-23T20:45:00.003+08:00

Hey all. Sorry about my post earlier this morning. I was frustrated. It seems so hard to trust anyone right now. And so they say 'once bitten, twice shy'. “Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker's reflection.” - Lady Gaga.

I can't trust anyone right now. I don't like playing guessing games, I suck at it. All my guesses are always wrong, I'm tired of playing. Can we stop? I know sometimes I'm the one at fault. I'm the one who can't place trust on anyone right now, I'm the one who constantly thinks that everyone's faking their identity.

I wish people knew this. I wish people know what I've been through, constantly getting betrayed by my closest ones, and why I'm like that. I wish people will understand. I wish people will tell me straight, that what they're saying is the truth. I wish people have more patience towards me.....

But I'm at fault again. Because I have no idea how to tell everyone to do all these for me. Will people listen to me? Will people bother to do all these? I don't know.

Most of the time when people talk to me and they constantly give me the same replies and treatment, I'll think that oh crap this person must be sick of me. To me this is 100% the truth. To others it may not be. But will I know? I don't know.

I don't know what's this post for, I'm just tired of trying to read people's mind, tired of trying to download people's thoughts but fail at every round.

I don't know who's real anymore.

Today was a rather happy day despite all these nonsense I get. Yesterday night I decided to talk to you, I thought that our conversation will end in less than 5 minutes like how it usually would. But little did I know. I ended up telling you things that I'd probably never tell anyone so directly like that. I just have the urge last night.... I just have the urge to tell you how I feel about you. Or rather how much you meant to me.

Despite how much hurt I received from you, all the joy and laughter you brought me was more important and it was what I cherish most. We continued our conversation until today... You kept me smiling the whole day. You said a lot of nice things, it feels good. Feels good to know that there's someone who really cares about you and honestly tells you like that. But my sickness started acting up again. I was happy. But I was unable to trust your words. I kept telling myself I should believe you, but I could only put 45% of my trust on those words.

Is this a form of self-protection? I can't seem to go further than that... I don't like all these. I want to trust people, I want to have no doubts about what people say... I want to feel happy when someone says "I'll be here for you" and not be like "he's just lying to me again".

I have no idea when I'll get to feel that way.

bobbed

2011-11-23T20:43:00.000+08:00

How do i look?

frustrated........

2011-11-23T09:25:00.002+08:00

I can't stand your attitude. I'm so freaking tired of everything and yet people still give me all these bullshit. We should stop being friends. I'm tired of people acting like they wanna be friends with me when they don't, tired of people acting like they wanna talk to me when they don't, tired of people who are like this sometimes and in other times they are like that. It makes me feel frustrated and confused like what the hell do you think you're doing? I don't know what you're trying to imply, I don't know who is the real you. Honestly... I'm sick of having all these unnecessary people around me, having all these fake two-faced people around me. Why can't everyone be honest and just be who they are. If you don't wanna talk to me then don't bother entertaining me. Don't entertain me then leave me hanging aside like that. We should stop being friends.

achievements

2011-11-22T13:20:00.000+08:00

Are you happy that I'm blogging so often? Hahahahahaha well just wanna say that...

#12 - Most Viewed (This Week) - Musicians - Singapore

I love you all :D

talking to the moon

2011-11-21T20:50:00.002+08:00

I love this song and I just found this. ON REPEAT FOR FOREVER! It's super good. Ah. Boys who sings.

work

2011-11-21T20:00:00.002+08:00

Hi...... Went to work at an event at Expo for the past two days. I was so drained but it was good overall. Especially.... The money part ;)$ Hehe so basically it was a showcase by LIVENABLED... SPOC or something I forgot. It was a showcase for the elderly and disabled people, there were a lot of things going on there and I was placed at the maze section. Basically a maze, a... simple maze and people will have to walk through the maze to get a goodie bag!

The maze was split into 3 sections. Registration - where we help the people "register" by writing some stuff on a star. The end section - where we paste their stars on the boards and give them the goodie bag coupon. Redemption counter - where we give out the goodie bags.

Ash and I started at the Redemption counter giving out goodie bags, getting to sit... :D Then we swap roles with 2 guys from the end section to give out the goodie bags coupon. I think the end section is pretty fun, you get to talk to people more and be more active. Sitting too long.... meh not my style. We did the registration for awhile and it was quite..... Too active for me.... Somehow... It's so hard to see who can speak Chinese and who can't!!!! Speaking of Chinese, I also realize how bad my Chinese is. A2 A2 A2 like fake one like that.

There was once where I'm like "你要走这个maze" and the couple was like "什么maze" "maze lor" "那边是那个start" "开始" "erm yah 开始"..... Lol. The guy actually corrected my "start".... basically "maze" "goodie bag" "lucky draw" "management counter" "box" I all don't know how to say in Chinese.

At the end of day 1 of work, we... or rather the boys went for supper then we went home.

Day 2! It was like... Just kill me please. The amount of sleep I had was totally insufficient. I was like a walking zombie. Started arranging the goodie bags, then went outside to give out coupons cuz some girls stole our role at the redemption counter..... It was pretty fun to be outside. Really. It made me realize how good it feels to be good. Everyone thanking you for your help, that sense of.... of.... I don't know. 助人为快乐之本!!!

Hehehe I saw this old woman mumbling to herself because we all told her to go to the registration counter to register first and she don't know where is it so I ran, RAN OK, after her and told her I'll bring her there and she's like so happy. This woman asked if I'm local and I said yes and she's like "because I know a lot of local teenagers they're very unhelpful but you're not like them" omg super happy. LOL. OH and on the first day, one woman was like "你很可爱leh"... Wah. HAHAHA well it's not everyday that people tell you truths like that. HAHAHA.

I got bored giving out coupons before dinner so I swapped place with Yeo to stand at the registration counter to show people "this way to enter the maze" and help the registration people cut tape......... Easy job hahaha even get to chat with the registration people who were damn funny! Hehe after quite some time I got tired of standing so I decided to do the registration counter together with Yeo. Somehow it was more fun than the first day as in less active? But I damn slack lah haha other people are like "ok let me tell you how this works, first as you enter the maze, you need to blah blah blah then blah blah blah" and I'm like "you just walk inside from here the people inside will tell you what to do" ROFL.

At the end of the day we had to clear the place a little here and there. So tiring. I like the people in the maze, all so friendly, funny and nice!:) There's this Malay guy... I don't know his name and this guy called Aloyscious... The sound people were playing Party Rock Anthem and they starting shuffling in the middle of no where ㅜㅜ I thought it looked damn cool.... I mean... I don't know how to shuffle that's why...........

It's quite sad that I don't know all their names.... There's this Chinese guy who was v funny also but I don't know his name also...... Ah. I only got one girl's e-mail because she's the most sociable... There were 2 guys from day 1 who were also v funny.......... But they got fired and didn't come on the 2nd day...ㅠㅜ... OH WELL.

On the way home, I saw this old woman struggling to go down the stairs and I automatically have the urge to just help her. Lol. I've become a better (and richer) person!!!! /proud

achievements

2011-11-21T11:47:00.002+08:00

#13 - Most Viewed (This Week) - Musicians - Singapore

I'm pretty shock about getting this again this week but thank you all again! *muacks*

achievements

2011-11-18T21:25:00.002+08:00

Oh gosh I just found out something and I'm soooo happy!!!!!!

#57 - Most Viewed (This Week) - Musicians - Singapore
#3 - Most Viewed (18/11/11) - Musicians - Singapore

:') THANK YOU ALL!!!!!! Even though I guess none of you guys can see it... I'm really thankful!!!!! I've been feeling really down lately, falling sick at the wrong time, being flooded with datelines, seeing my friends quarrel and seeing them being sad... It really affected me a lot but this is really a mood lifter!!!! It's just that feeling when you know what you like doing are being recognized? Since I'm at it, I might as well continue.

When I didn't got chosen by Cube for the TvN auditions, I was so sad that I cried on the bus on the way home. I was just so disappointed and I felt like maybe this wasn't the right path for me. But... Thanks to encouraging messages from all my subscribers, friends and bbboys, I managed to get back my confidence and continue doing what I love doing! I don't like disappointment, I don't like disappointing anyone including myself, therefore to receive those comments from everyone was really encouraging!

In short, I LOVE YOU ALL, all my 420 subscribers!!!! *blows kisses*

It's so hard to do the right things these days

2011-11-18T17:25:00.005+08:00

Every time I say something, something that I feel people shouldn't do, I always ask myself first, have I done it before? If the answer is yes and that I will most probably do it again, I'll not post it. If the answer is yes and I will never do it again or no, I'll post it. I don't have special abilities to read people's mind. People always say things like "do you know how hard is it to smile when you feel terrible inside?" expecting us to be like "hey actually I can see that you're feeling terrible, are you ok?". Sometimes things just don't work this way.

I'm me, I act like me. Sometimes if I feel like somethings should go a certain way, I will make it go that way. Take for example, I'm not someone who will go around telling everyone my problems, how sad I am all the time because I personally feel that if I do it too often, people will think that I'm seeking attention and I wouldn't want that. Which is why when people do it too often, I feel that they're seeking attention. To me that's not being mean or bad, it's because I don't do it. Ok I'm so bad that explaining this but I'm sure you all know what I'm trying to say right? For some people, endlessly expressing their feelings is normal and that's why they do it and that's that. None of us are wrong. It's just having different perspectives.

So when I'm upset, I usually don't say anything at all, and when I don't say anything at all, I don't expect people to be asking me how I am because if I want to tell you, I will and I won't be hiding it from you. Which is why when people ask "do you know how hard is it to smile when you feel terrible inside?", yes I do. But I won't do anything because I assume you didn't want to tell me. I'm just like that. Is it wrong?

Well my dad always tells us that the quietest people are the scariest people because they keep everything to themselves and you have no clue to what they're thinking. And the least scariest people are those who constantly tells you all their thoughts because you'll know what kind of person they are. I always thought this is true but I never thought that it would be this scary. To see someone acting like someone they're not... It's really frightening.

People say that many small misunderstandings will add up to a huge misunderstanding. It's true. Which is why I always feel that if you have any misunderstanding towards me, you should just tell me straight and not pretend like nothing's happening when you're hating me inside. I may not tell everyone how I feel all the time but I still do. Now that this misunderstanding has become so huge, I really have no idea how to solve it anymore. And knowing that you've been hiding your feelings like that... Honestly speaking, I cannot trust you anymore.

Do you know why you have thoughts like that? That we're all bad, that we're doing all these because we're bad because we hate you, that we do everything with a motive?

A person who don't feel or do all these won't have thoughts like this.

irreplaceable OTP6♥

2011-11-18T17:24:00.000+08:00

bad day

2011-11-17T20:30:00.002+08:00

Yes. I'm blogging because today sucks. Lol.......... I wanna like ask you guys to ignore this but then again, I really wish people will know how I feel about certain stuff. Well today's a really really bad day so since it's so bad already let's just go all the way out.

Right so today I was late for my CSB group meeting, as usual but they were expecting it already and I told them before hand that I won't make it on time so yeah even though I arrived later than expected. I fell sick last night all of a sudden, I just feel so weak the whole day. I normally wake up at 10am but today I woke up at 11am. It's a sign. I'm really sick.

So I went to school and realized that there's some... Some weird thing going on with Fai and her group, Idk seriously some people can they chillax a little? She was just late not like she late then still go buy koi and drink first or what right? But ok I met my CSB group and we rehearsed. Then I had lunch and then met my CI group. Then my CI tutor being irritating, I don't know why he kept commenting on my parts like how I got everything from Google like of course I got it from Google?!!!! I think he hates me. I felt really sick during CI like I can just die there. The air-condition like free? Well then otw home got some bad news, I felt so crap like I can just die on the way home lol. And on the way back, not one but THREE different uncles pushed me like???????? One pushed me for nothing he just wanna change place in the crowded train, another one pushed me to get on the escalator, the last one even worse, push me to tap his ez-link first like wtf?????

K so me being sick is seriously bullshit. WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN SICK? IDGI and the next few days are so important.... I have like CSB CA tmrw and work this weekend meaning I can't even rest and on Monday class is at 8am but I cannot skip ah need collect karma for Philippines trip.... ARGH. I wanted to type more but forget it. I need to do CSB.

shopping + neoprints

2011-11-13T15:25:00.002+08:00

HELLOOOOOOOO! I'm finally back!!!!! I just didn't feel like blogging for the past... week or so. I don't feel like blogging now either but I just thought that I should save my blog from dying. This is like testing my memory hahahaha.

First of all, I've created a new blog! It's a blog dedicated to B2st, I don't expect any fame, whatsoever by creating this. All I want was to do something more for B2st, have a place to keep all my memories with them and also to share it with everyone. I know I can also keep those memories here, but it's hard since they are buried under all my other memories with other people. Therefore, http://kwonjoker.blogspot.com! I spent some time there just now watching my fancams...... Oh gosh. You know when something too good happen and you say it out, after awhile you'll start asking yourself "wait.... did it REALLY happen? or am I being delusional...?". I'm not talking about going to events itself I mean that's stupid and too real to be a delusion. I mean special... fan-service.

I always feel that during their perf of On Rainy Days during the fanmeet, when I was sitting at the front row with Fai, when they stood in a row and Junhyung was DIRECTLY in front of me (because I was sitting at the last seat of the middle block and Junhyung was standing at the end too). I always say that he ignored me until his rap where he rapped directly to me. After awhile you know, I wondered... maybe he didn't rapped to me...... you know? But oh God my fancam cleared my doubts. He did!!!!!!!! :') I'm so happy.

OK STOP SIDE TRACKING.

Yes so that's the place to go if you wanna find all my memories with B2st! Excluding my tweets to them................ which is hard to keep track.

Last Thursday, I went to a synagog! For those who have no idea what's that (like me before I went there), it's a Jewish's place to pray. I went there with my group mates for our project. No photography was allowed so yup, no pictures! It was interesting to know more about the religion but it was very awkward going out with my group mates since most of us are from different classes. During the trip back, one of my group mate actually asked me if I'm a Singaporean. I'm like "OF COURSE I AM??????" lol.

Yesterday, we went shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It has been awhile now....... I bought a fringe wig!!!! I think it's really cool. I love my fringe but sometimes when I feel ugly........ You know. EVERYONE looks good with fringe. You can't look ugly with it seriously lol. So yeah I bought one!!! It's kinda thick but I'm gonna try it again later. It's super fun. LOL. I like the super short bangs look cuz it's so funny omg LOL. But well ytd was probably the only day that I feel like.......... I look better without bangs. Hahahaha ok I'm not sure what I'm saying now so SKIP.

We took neoprints!

Hahahaha I thought it was super fun and funny. During the start they asked if we wanted "Natural eyes or I don't know the middle one or BIG". I haven't even read and Lx and Ash was like BIG BIG BIG HAHAHAHA. I didn't know it would turn out like that but it's kinda cool!! Hahaha the decorations were so nice you get to change your hair color, your eye color, your blush, etc!!

Ok, SCHOOL TMRW. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Be Quiet 쉿

2011-10-28T12:41:00.002+08:00

Be Quiet - Kim Wansun w/ Yong Junhyung MV! My bb is SOOOOOOOOO CUTE omg it's so hard to spazz in 140 characters so here's a blog post specially for YOUUUUU my dear Joker♥:) His actions totally reminded me of Jiyong - DORKY. I've never seen Junhyung being such a dork before as in SUCH A DORK lol. He is too cute omg. Yes Junhyung totally saved this weird song. It's on repeat for forever!!!! He is so handsome (sob) (sob) no wonder he is my bias.♥♥♥♥♥♥

First week of school

2011-10-21T19:29:00.004+08:00

Ok so I wanted to upload pictures but I couldn't find my USB cable. Zzzz.

Some updates!! Uh. Went to Marina Barrage last week Thursday for picnic! I guess it's one of the better picnics I had w/ them lol. It would have been better if we could stay there for dinner however there were like 10000 flies around our spot so we had to leave... We went to Marina Square for Just Acia, then Artease to nuaaaaa. Attendance that day: me, Ashley, Lx, Whong, Whua, Zc, Yeo~

Then on Saturday, went shoppingggggggggggggg! With Ashley~ ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ♥ Feels good to go shopping... Oh yeah and that was where I got my polka dot outerwear from. Loads of cheap cheap clothes in that shop heh heh. I wanna go shopping again! Okok so I am planning to get the fringe wig or clip or whatever.......? I think my sis is interested too cuz both our hair is black now (as in we have the same hair color). I miss having a fringe!!!!!!! And every time I watch 2NE1 videos I'll be tempted to just cut my fringe again. But I don't wanna cut my fringe......... I think it's less than $20...? Yeah....

First week of school~ My time table is pretty awesome, the only sad thing is that I'm in the different class for 2 modules. 2 fun modules. It's sad because it would totally be fun if I'm still in the same class!!! Me and one of my classmates got separated from my class because we didn't take A Maths option (i rather die than take A maths again). I missed school twice hahaha... I overslept for the first time and today I was sick so I skipped school. I hope it'll get less awkward with my "new classmates"...........

Have been feeling really down lately......................................

polka dots

2011-10-21T19:03:00.003+08:00

Hey all, I know I know I haven't been blogging. It's the weekends! And photobucket is finally working. Lemme see what I've yet to blog about...... (ﾉﾟ▽ﾟ)ﾉ W/ my new polka dots outerwear from Bugis! It's only 12$ I can't even................ Hehehe.

happy 2nd year ♥

2011-10-16T17:00:00.002+08:00

비스트 데뷔2주년 너무많이축하해요!!!! 이2년에 좋은노래를그리고멋진무대를 정말고마워요! 난 항상 비스트지원할께요! 이 예쁜2년에 우리행복한추억을많이했다..그것을계속하자! 우리 예쁘게 늙어갑시다... 사랑해요 비스트!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥ HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY B2ST!!!!!! I'll start off w/ a list of some memorable memories I had with them for the past 2 beautiful years. I tweeted it all so I'll just quote from there!!

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ !! when i said "준형오빠 사랑해요" and he immediately looked up and smiled (yeah i died there)@Joker891219

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ !! after the showcase when yoseob leaned forward just to shake my hand when i'm at 3rd row :')@helloimys

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ !! when we were stalking them and yoseob took pictures of us!!!!!!!! kya~ @helloimys

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ !! when we were stalking them dongwoon and yoseob aegyoing to us hehehe @ helloimys @beastdw

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ !! when we were below the stage we waved at doojoon and he waved back @BeeeestDJ

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ !! junhyung's rape stare at me during the showcase....../cannotforget T.T @Joker891219

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ !! when dongwoon and i were looking at each other expressionlessly and when i smiled he smiled back @beastdw

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ !! junhyung ignoring me for the whole of 비가오는날엔 until his rap whr he decided to rape stare@Joker891219

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ !! when junhyung lifted up the curtain to wave when the van pass by me ^__^ @Joker891219

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ !! walking right behind junhyung and touched his sweaty back.... *A* and non-sweaty bag.@Joker891219

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ !! wishing Doojoon happy birthday personally!!!!!! @BeeeestDJ

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ meaningless convo w/ yoseob. "안녕하세요!" "안녕하세요~" LOL @helloimys

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ meaningless convo w/ dongwoon. "화이팅!" "네~" hahaha @beastdw

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ !! screaming "안돼!!!!!" "하지마!!!!!!!" when they skinship w/ other fans during showcase

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ !! spazzing on the stupid lousy chair from mediacorp feeling that it'll break anytime.....

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ !! @Joker891219 thought i didn't wanna hi-5 him and he gave me a "??" face lol LANGUAGE BARRIER.

happy 2nd anniversary B2ST✈♡♥♡♥ .. UMM. saying "HI" to joonkoon and him replying "안녕~"......? HAHA V CUTE LAH AIYER.

Yoseob left a really long post at the official fan cafe last night, he started off by saying that "when BEAST first came into this world, we were called "recycled group". used rookie, recycled group...". We all know that Yoseob unlike other members like Dongwoon, felt sad when people called them "recycled group" but mentioning it again just shows how much hurt he received from it.ㅜㅜ But anyway. TIME FLIESㅜㅜㅜㅜ

@Joker891219 @helloimys @BeeeestDJ @beastdw @doublev89 @B2stGK it has been 2 years since we met.♥ "B2uty and B2st, B2st and B2uty. Let's grow old together, meaning let's be together forever!" Let's be together forever.......♥

...

2011-10-12T17:25:00.002+08:00

I’m that girl who forgives everyone who gets mad at me. I’m that girl who cares way too much about what people think of her. I’m that girl who fears being alone. I’m that girl who is scared of growing up. I’m that girl who acts like I’m tough when really, I feel like crying. I’m that girl who says yes to everything, because I hate disappointing people. I’m that girl who tries to be nice to everyone then gets taken advantage of. I’m that girl who doesn’t care if it’s a million dollars or a homemade card as long as you thought of me. I’m that girl who tries to express how she feels, but just can’t find the words. I’m that girl who everyone thinks they know, but they don’t.

too perfect for words

2011-10-12T15:41:00.001+08:00

You're my all.

last week of holidays

2011-10-10T20:30:00.002+08:00

HI!!!!!!!!!!!! I realised I provided the wrong link to the AT2020 USB! Hahahahaha I went back to Audio Technica's site in hopes of finding any cheaper microphones but apparently they only have ONE USB microphone!!!!! Sobsobs. Which is the AT2020 USB if you're slow. So here's the correct link if you wanna see.... HERE. Ah. I'm really not a IT person.

Anyway it's the last week of holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAWWWRRRRR. So upset. Hahaha I can't believe 5 weeks (is it?) just flew past like this. Like. In a blink of an eye.

YUPS. I've been busy doing stupid things so yeah I'm actually here just to talk about the wrong link.

loves of my life^^;;

2011-10-08T16:20:00.001+08:00

new found love *edited

2011-10-06T13:22:00.005+08:00

HI!!!!! I'm back!!! Hehehehehehe. Well for the past week I've been looking all over for a good ~~and affordable~~ vocal microphone. Ah. It's no secret anymore right? You guys all know right? Haha anyway, a lot of people, even my sister, have been complaining to me about my current... lousy PC microphone which I'm sure is about more than 5 years old or so already. I... hate it too... but I can live with it. BUT, you know it's really spoiling. I bought a new PC microphone (yes, cheapo me) but the sound is.... Lousier than my old one so... So screw it lol.

Well so I thought why not why a good microphone and invest in it? After all it's something that I really like and it will be long-term, it's a good thing right? ^~^;;;;;; There are A LOT of different weird brands like SE, SAMSON???? Idk and other weird names with different model numbers, so to save time and all, I decided to just search from the ones I know, and I found one that I really really realllllllly like!!!!!! Spent an hours watching all the reviews and all. Hah. I'M IN LOVE! Lol.

AT2020 USB!!!!!!!!!

It's from Audio-Technica (I'm sure you all know this brand)! It comes with a little stand, a pouch so you can even keep your microphone in it) and usb cable for easy usage on the computer!! I think... I THINK, it also comes with a software sound bank where you can download.... I don't know what's a sound bank but I guess a bank for sound. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Errrrrrrr, I couldn't find a proper fix price of this and me being me, don't even know if there is a place in Singapore where I can buy this LOL. But according to ebay.com.sg it's sold at about $140-$150. NOT BAD I GUESSSSSSS????????? (WAIT. I just realized that at Sim Lim Square, it's sold at $200++++++++++++++ omg that's like the price of a concert ticket) Other than that, thanks to my hardworking research, I also found out that I need to get this thing called a pop filter.

This thing. Basically I found a video that showed the difference with it and without it and I'm amazeddddddd!!!! LOL. I have absolutely no idea where I can get this.

I'm eyeing on this!!!!! Hope to get it soon ^~^

-edited-

HEYYYY LOL. After even more research, I also found out that I should also get a shock mount, something that takes away vibrations and I don't know, apparently there is a shock mount that fits the AT2020 and it's called the SAMSON SP01... I think it's about $40-$50 so I guess.... LOL. I can't buy it. OH WELL. But anyway I also found out that this microphone is #2 in the top 10 condenser microphone! Lol..............

overdue pictures....... not...

2011-10-06T12:16:00.003+08:00

I just realized I've been really REALLLLLY lazy recently. I haven't been bothering to upload any pictures that I've taken... It's just.... Boring to do so. But today, looking at the even more boring posts on my blog, I thought, ok why not just upload em? Edited the pictures and TA-DAAAAA photobucket is not working again.

But..... I'm still here haha. Well it just struck me all of a sudden (?????) lol that maybe I'm not as good as I thought I am in certain things? Oh I guess people call it something like "reality strikes" or whatever. But yeah, instead of wanting more than what I already have, maybe I should just stick to what I have and maybe try and improve it and work from there...? It was the only path in my life that I'm sure I want to take, but I guess it's just not working for me. Now I kinda wish I won't pass the first round because I'm too tired to care about the other rounds and challenges I have to face. Maybe I shouldn't have put in so much effort in the first place then maybe this sort of disappointment won't come about.

judge only yourself

2011-10-05T16:53:00.002+08:00

Here to talk about the marijuana shit case. I don't get why people judge this way, so what if he is G-dragon? He is still only human. "Upon feeling that it was different from normal cigarettes, he flushed it down the toilet right away" doesn't this prove a lot? That no, he doesn't want to take marijuana (well fact is that he doesn't even know what's that).

I trust YG, I trust everything YG says because the only thing that YG will lie to me about is comeback dates. And I obviously trust GD a whole lot more. I believe he knows his limits.

Netizens should just stop it. And if you're not supporting him, YOU'RE NOT A FAN. Ok? Stop saying stupid senseless things like "I'm a fan so I'm more hurt, he is horrible". Well you're a horrible fan. If you're a real VIP, you will always support GD no matter what. Netizens are a heartless bunch seriously, I will never forget the amount of hurt they brought Jay and I will never ever let them hurt GD.

GD... Stay strong. You know right? VIPs will always be here for you and support you till forever. I love you and I'll wait for your comebacks, your solo, GD&TOP, and BIGBANG. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

hello october

2011-10-03T12:44:00.002+08:00

Omg hello world, I realized I haven't been blogging much recently haha because my life has been...... Not boring but more like busy! A lil update before I leave house to settle the PMD issue which my sis and I have been procrastinating for God damn long already!!!! :(

On.... Thursday, 29th Sept, my Sis and I went to Clementi to get the required equipment and ingredients for Ash's cupcakes! We also decided to make some for my mom's birthday (don't worry, we did minus the cost for my mom's otherwise we will break the budget like by a lot). There were buckets of fondant to carry, huge boxes to carry, and all the other equipment and ingredients. We were expecting my dad to come fetch us but he couldn't come. So we went to UT to buy ingredients for dinner (because my mom went to M'sia!) and realized that my dad couldn't come on time too so we had to bus home with all that stuff! I was SOOOOO tired that day but I guess it was a pretty satisfying day. Immediately prepared dinner and after dinner we started baking my mom's batch to confirm it's succeed for Ash's batch!

On Friday, 30th Sept, my mom came back!!!!!!!!!!!!! and my mixer broke down haha thankfully when we're about to finish already and we can finally buy a new one!!!!!!! Weeeeee~ Hahaha Lx came over and we started the fondant making part. I researched a lot seriously lol but it was worth it ^^;; After finishing we also made the "H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y". Sent Lx home, went to bpp for dinner and to buy balloons and other decorative!

So on Saturday, which was the 1st of October, we decided to celebrate Ashley's birthday in advance since it seems like the whole world is busy. We got the rest to ask her out in the afternoon, it was quite frustrating actually especially when you've got so much to do and people still ask you to do everything..... when they have nothing to do. Cabbed to fetch Lx then to TW, had Mcdonald's, then headed to Ash's house. Thanks to Ernie who opened the door for us! K.... Then they finally came back and I guess we did surprised her ^^ Had steamboat and had some NS talk or something.............. Then finally played this game... For awhile, before my parents came to fetch me home ^^^^^^;;;;;;

Yesterday, 2nd October, it was my mom's birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We went to Chinatown for dimsum in the the morning for brunch, I was expecting roadside stalls but we went to Yum Cha lol... We spent like a freaking $100++?!!!!! OH YAH... Recently, whatever I say right, it'll all come true... On Saturday I was telling Lx how if we pass the bus stop and see Ashley there... And she was really there... Yesterday when we were queuing up for seats, I told my sis "later only got seats for 2 then they skip us to the people behind us" and it really happened. So my sis was like "quick say something like we will be next soon", so I said "ok there will be seats for us soon,... like in 3 seconds" and after I said that, me and my sis started counting 3 seconds... and at 2.5 seconds, THE PERSON REALLY CAME AND TOLD US WE CAN ENTER LOL -___- Freaking amazing right hahaha. Anyway, it was pretty cool, we got a VIP seat lol due to the lack of seats I guess.

For dinner, we went to CWP's Empire State, it was so-so but the price was not bad, or more like the portions are HUGE. Went home, showed my mom the cupcakes and gave her her present - 51 worship songs!!!!!!!!! Wahahahaha.

YUPS that's all. My sis is still asleep............

니가 제일 좋아

2011-09-26T14:02:00.001+08:00

F1 SINGAPORE GP: BIGBANG

2011-09-24T17:54:00.005+08:00

HIIIIII~ Yesterday was the start of the F1 Singapore GP and as everyone knows, yesterday's performance schedule at the Padang stage will include Charice and what I'm there for, GD&TOP and Seungri!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sigh, I'm not sure if everyone here knows this but yeah I'm really upset and even up till now but I'll still try and make this post.... Happier.

We planned to catch the first train there but we decided to meet later after we woke up in the morning. We were the 2nd to reach, apparently there's this woman there who claimed that she have been there since 6am. We were loitering around when some other fangirls came too and we decided to start a queue with the securities consent. I think the securities are really nice compared to other events. A lot of fans came and refused to acknowledge the queue since it's the "unofficial queue", so they would always ask the security and the security would always tell them to go in the queue because it's official :) Of course there are people who came late and cannot accept the fact that they have to go all the way to the back of the line.

It's really ridiculous and I thought everyone knows of the term "first come first serve"?

Chatted with the first few of us, they are all really nice people! Time passed faster with them around, getting to know each other's biases and all.

Here's a picture of us taken by the F1 staff and uploaded onto the official Singapore GP Facebook page. Yy.... Was trying to take out her fan "board"...

My fanboard!

I got Yy to draw this for me :D:D:D:D

At 3pm, the gates were open and we went in, scanning our passes first, there were some problems with the scanner which was totally irritating.... Finally got scanned, went through bag checks and body scans, and we went to run this seriously long route to the Padang stage. It's really a long run........ WITH ESCALATORS ALSO. So we were like.... Running down the escalator then run..... Then run UP another escalator then run run run run run to the Padang. I nearly died seriously.

Then we had to wait till 730pm before we could enter the mosh pit. Because everything was so overpriced in there, we just had to starve. Finally it was 730pm and the security was kind enough to let us know we can enter first instead of announcing it to the world, so that no one will cut our queue. So yeeeah we immediately ran to our planned spots! Sad to say that people still managed to cut (thankfully not ours) queue. We turned around and saw all those people who were not in the queue before...... Sucks so much huh.

At 830pm it was Charice's performance! She is awesome!!!!!! I love Charice........ K not a lot of people knows that but I watch her youtube videos, I sing her songs, I watch all her cuts at Star King......... I JUST LOVE HER. She's super awesome!!! At the start when we came out, I waved at her and she pointed at me when she sing..... I was spazzing like siao when Yy asked me "GOT TAKE OR NOT?"... I HAVE NO FANCAM BOOOOOOOO :(((((((

She didn't perform the full 1 hour which was rather sad since we had to wait for 2 hours till Bigbang.

FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It started off with idk who seriously DJ-ing all YG songs mixed with some English songs!!!! It was awesome especially those 2ne1 songs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!♥♥ I was damn high last night, I think it's the result of waking up at 4am and waiting till 11pm... Was singing my ass off to all those 2ne1 songs he played!!!!!!!

Then it was Seungri's performance!!!!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I was singing a lot (and screaming A LOT) in all their performances so please... Haha.

I know it's hard not to not see this is the previous video since I screamed..... BUT SLOW-MO VERSION! My scream is damn power in slow-mo...

My Seungri fancams are not as good as GD&TOP......... Cuz I couldn't figure out whether to zoom in more or not... THEN IT WAS GD&TOP'S PERFORMANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!♥♥♥♥♥♥

This.......................................

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!!!!!!! I got sucha nice fancam of this!!!!!!!!

Yeah so during High High, GD threw his black towel to me...... I WAS REALLY REALLY 1000001% SURE IT WAS FOR ME. I know I live in denial most of the time but this time I SRSLY KNOW IT'S NOT.

If you watched all my GD&TOP fancams above, you'd hear me crazily screaming "JIYONG!!!!!!!!!!! JIYONG AH!!!!!!!!!! KWON JIYONG!!!!!!!!", I screamed so loudly that the girls beside beside me can hear my screams clearly in their fancam. I'm 138290434% sure he saw me and he know I'm his fan cuz I know that the girls at the back cut the queue so I didn't care if my board would block them so I just waved it like mad and all. AND, yknw if they wanna throw their stuff, they would always throw it to the back right?!?!?! Like they would throw it lightly, but he did, because I'm front row. If I wasn't taking fancams I guess I would have caught it but I didn't.... It dropped on the ground RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Like srsly RIGHT IN FRONT. But because of the barricade, I couldn't get it... So the security took it... Yy was screaming "GIVE HER GIVE HER" but the security threw it to the back............... I was srsly fucked up that time like srsly... I wanted to cry on the spot but I didn't. GD turned back and saw that I didn't get it and I'm just like... "...." there.

Their encore stage (the 3 of them) was How Gee. I had totally no mood I didn't even wanna film it down, but thankfully I still did because GD came back and he stood in front of me.....

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I wasn't looking at my cam at all, I was totally sian already, even when he came, I know he was trying to give me more fanservice...... because I failed. I'M THANKFUL REALLY, that he actually bothered. That actually gave me a lot of strength to continue holding back my tears.

After their encore stage ended, I immediately started crying like some mad woman, I cried so badly that I couldn't even talk... The security came and asked what happened, Yy and the other girl told him and he had this very guilty look on his face.... I guess it's not his fault since how would he know it's for me.................. He looked around probably trying to find who took the towel but I know it's impossible to get it back already.

We (me, Yy and 2 other girls we met there) searched high and low for a taxi stand and finally managed to get a cab randomly on the road at 1AM+ to cab home.

The moment I got home, I started crying to my sis telling her what happened...... She kept saying that GD is really good to me and all....... Yeah I know haha. Thank you GD♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

가끔 날 떠올리긴 할 지

2011-09-20T18:06:00.001+08:00

못된 사람아...

“If you can do what you do best and be happy, you’re further along in life than most people.”

2011-09-20T10:56:00.003+08:00

.... Today is results day. I woke up at 8.30AM and fell back asleep until 10AM. I kept dreaming about my results!!!!!!!!! I dreamed that I failed my GEMS, then I dreamed that I failed one of my other modules.... Seriously..... Finally I woke up and I went to check my ichat mail. THANK GOD I PASSED EVERYTHING. Twitter was flooded with my classmate's displeasure upon getting "C+" and "C"..... I got 2 D- and I still feel thankful. This is the difference..... This is the difference.....

I know a lot of you guys might be looking down on me right now, being like "wth 2 D-..?!?!" and all, but seriously I don't care anymore. All I want is to smoothly finish my course and leave SP.

나도 모르게 내 발걸음은 널 향해만 가잖아..

2011-09-19T16:50:00.001+08:00

스쳐간 바람만도 못한가 봐 나

차갑게 떠났어도 밉진 않아 네가

지겹게 지독하게 널 그려내

또 아프게 이런 게 다 무슨 소용이겠어

I say no more

Today is the Tomorrow you worried about yesterday;

2011-09-19T16:45:00.001+08:00

Hi everyone

I went for work yesterday, it was the same jewelry thing. It didn't went as well as the previous one cuz it was my previous boss's brother's (who is also one of the bosses) event. He is so irritating!!!!!! It was an auction event instead of a sales event and he arranged me to be one of the girls who will be walking the jewelry. He had a 1-on-1 training for me which is irritating and stupid... Even though it was more like a he-demonstrate-how-to-walk-and-I-just-watch-him-walk. I hate the feeling of showcasing myself but I thought it was an easier job compared to "preparing invoices". Who knows he was like "when you walked to the end, you will have to walk back, backwards". I'm like WHAT???????? That's so retarded????

But ok hahaha because no one came for the auction, in fact only 1, the auction was cancelled and changed into a sales. I can't believe there are actually people who will buy those extremely expensive jewelry!!!! I went for the break alone on purpose, I knew the girls wanted to ask me to join them but I went off in the speed of lightning. Hahahahaha #factaboutme: I don't like to talk when I eat. Which is why when eating with people I'm not close with, it's forever awkward. People can talk to me and I'll be like "....k". I just... Wanna concentrate eating?

We ended at 3pm, packed till 4pm last week, this week he said we will end at 4pm but at 3.30pm he decided to let us go! Yeah I'm SOOOO glad it's over!

Ah. Friday is coming but I still have no idea how to plan it. There's only the 2 of us, we can't possibly queue overnight all the way till 8pm Friday.... Right? I mean... We'll seriously die there!!! I don't know urgh it's so hard to plan all these!!!!!!!

Wow.. It's already 5.30pm. I have a date on Wednesday so hopefully pictures?!!!!!! New blogskin which I slaved over by the way. ***Image on the top changes in random mode every time you visit!

지루한 날

2011-09-17T17:50:00.003+08:00

크아아아아아함.. 여기에서 여러분들 안녕...^^;; 오늘 완전 지루한때문에 저는 한국어 다시사용할께!^^ 내일 다시 작업있당~ 내일 혼자서 가고싶지않아.. 헐....... 기분이좋지않아... 내일 점심시간때 혼자 먹어해야지... 아 근데 나도 다른 사람이랑 함께 먹어싶지않앜ㅋㅋ 내일 빨리끝나좋겠다!!!!!!! 돈돈돈돈돈돈돈위한 저 아무도 할수있어!!!!!!!$.$ㅋㅋㅋ 최근에 저 많이 유키스 비디오 시청했다.. 아이키스미느낌이다시왔어..?ㅜㅜ 근데 케빈오빠 정말 잘생겼다...ㅜㅜ나 살려줘......ㅋ 유키스일등받았을있다 진짜 바래...ㅜㅜ그 유키스맴버들 진짜 열심히했어...ㅜㅜ 아.. 다음주는 유키스일등!!!!!ㅜㅜ화이팅!!!!!ㅎㅎ저도내일화이팅... 내비스트애들도 일본에서 스케줄을 화이팅...!!!! 자 여기까지........ 끝! 모두 좋은하루되세요~쑝~~~!!!

wake me up when September ends

2011-09-16T12:57:00.002+08:00

Hey hey time to have some proper updates!!!!!!!! My holidays have been boring so I haven't got any nice pictures or anything ㅡ3ㅡ;; On the 08 of Sep which is last Thursday, we went to catch Final Destination 5. Hahahaha it was srsly damn wtf cuz we left after 1 hour. WE'RE SO FAIL. Haha I didn't expect it to be that gross.... Some parts were still ok but the first part is like wtf ttm?!!? I was screaming inside like no one's business... Talk about embarrassing....... FINALLY, after 1 hour of the show, Lx wanted to leave so I'm like "YES YES WE SHOULD LEAVE" LOL and so we left. It was kinda sad that we don't know how the rest died and that we don't know the ending.... BUT I DON'T CARE. LOL.

On the 10 of Sep, I went to work! It was a jewelry sales event and there was like absolutely no sales at all. WHICH IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!! Hahahahahahahahaha and the pay is awesome too even though work starts at 8am... Haha. I went with Peihsia! They smsed me to work this Sunday again for an auction event but this time round I'm gonna be alone...........................

Let's see.... On the 12 of Sep... It was Chuseok!!!!!!!!! My family never need to buy mooncakes cuz my dad will bring home a whole lot from different hotels and places that the company he is working at has worked with and we're not really fans of mooncakes either. We bought lanterns and candles and started playing...... In the balcony. It was kinda boring.....? Haha since you can't exactly feel the balcony with wax.

Yesterday was B2st's 700th day!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥♥♥♥!!!!!! Time flies time flies... Congratulations my bb boys!!!!!!! ^__^ More success and laughter to come!!!!!!! Haha yesterday my mom also went for her dinner and dance, therefore my dad, sis and I headed to Pizza hut to try out their new Cheesy bites treat(???)!

It was........... a scam. LOL. But it's still nice... Just that it wasn't as nice as I thought it would be. A normal pizza would be as good as this. We couldn't finish it so we brought some back home!

Fish N' Chips! This is not too bad and there's a 50% off so it's like $8? This is not bad! The fish is crispy it's good! But for the normal price ($13.50 I think) it's not very worth it...........

Seafood pasta! Not too bad! It's mild spicy and the prawn is awesome! Haha the sauce is pretty bland though but yeah still ok....

YUPS. That's about it..................... Awkward ending LOL.

"Hello"

2011-09-16T12:52:00.000+08:00

"I have something to tell my friend. Be happy. I'll always help him anytime."

everybody wins sometimes, everybody know you lose some ♥

2011-09-14T10:41:00.000+08:00

♥♥♥♥

nobody notices what i do until i don't do it

2011-09-14T10:28:00.003+08:00

I always feel that when the holidays come, I'll be really happy and stress-free. But now that the holidays are here, feels like I'm feeling more and more worse as the days past. Everyone is busy, everyone is working, everyone have their own plans, I try and plan some stuff but people don't appreciate because everyone is too caught up in their existing schedule. It feels like I'm having holidays on my own.

you can be born a human and still turn into a monster

2011-09-08T10:24:00.004+08:00

Why do people keep trying to make excuses for themselves? I don't know, IT'S NOT THE TRUTH, don't lie to yourself. I'm really the kind of person that hates lying to myself, everything has to be the truth. If something is not working, it's not working. I can't be going around telling myself "I THINK IT'S WORKING" when it isn't. And no one should do that either. DO SOMETHING ELSE, CHANGE IT, MAKE IT TRULY WORK. It's ok if you're ignorant because there's always something called Google. GOOGLE IT UP. CHECK. CONFIRM THAT IT WILL WORK.

It's ridiculous watching people say things that aren't true. I just wanna throw the whole damn Google page on their face and make them face the fact. SENSE. People. TALK BLOODY SENSE. How can you even say something so senseless like that? I won't lie to you (?!) and honestly speaking I wasn't sure as well UNTIL I GOOGLE.

But well if you refuse to believe me then forget it you know. I'm not trying to make fun of you that you're wrong whatsoever, I just wanted you to know that it really does not work that way. Some people are just like that right? They kept having the thought that everyone out there is making fun of them and are out to do them bad. Oh well. Continue lying to yourself and you'll be stuck at the same place cuz it's not working and it will never work.

On a side note, new blog music, awesome isn't it? :)

the end of something is the beginning of something else;

2011-08-31T16:23:00.002+08:00

IT'S THE END OF EXAMS WHICH ALSO MEANS IT'S THE START OF THE HOLIDAYS!!!!!! YAHOOOOOOO *dances to Oh Yeah like there's no tomorrow*!!!!!! Heh to show you guys how much I love you all and not post anymore pictureless posts AND to remind you guys how I look like.... I decided to take some selcas on the spot to upload here.

A rather productive day today!!!! Exam was so-so, left the exam hall about 30 minutes earlier and had McBreakfast! Went home and started watching my beloved 2NE1TV!!!!! Then I practiced and yeah..... Feeeeeeel Gooooooood! ;););) Does my face looks smaller? LOL cuz the "Hyuna inspired" selcas I posted on twitter was actually not because of Hyuna but I was actually doing face exercise! I googled, yes, desperate times call for desperate measures, how to obtain a small face by face exercise and apparently......

This is what you gotta do!!!! I've been doing this for like.... whenever I'm free, like when I'm doing my exam paper, when I'm watching TV, when I'm typing this........ LOL you can actually feel your muscle stretch so yeah keep 'em cheeks puffing if you want to lose fats on your face!!!!!!

Hopefully more pictures since it's the holidays! I asked my dad to return me my camera cuz I wanna take more pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to work or not to work

2011-08-30T17:32:00.002+08:00

HELLO EVERYONE. I'm here again. ARGH. I'm so fickle-minded! Yknw what I said yesterday about working right? That Ill just go for the interview and let God choose with path I should take. But well actually I'm pretty sure that they'll hire me. Sales promoter, waitress... I don't need qualifications for these. I WANT MONEY. I NEED MONEY. I wanna fill my dried up bank account. Everyone's forbidding me to buy things because my bank account is empty. But even if I don't want to spend the money, I HAVE TO EAT, I HAVE TO GO AROUND - TRANSPORT. It's so hard not to spend money!!!!!! And yeah the whole MAMA shit, and the fact that my boys are almost all coming.... I CAN'T GET IT OFF MY MIND - THE MAMA THING. I mean instead of spending all my money to see them, why not practice hard, get into the industry itself then seeing them will be FREE! +I get to earn some money because I'll be working there.

I AM A CERTIFIED DREAMER.

But anyway, YES I NEED MONEY SO BADLY. NOT FOR CLOTHES because I don't need anymore clothes, NOT FOR SHOES, because I don't need anymore shoes, NOT FOR EXPENSIVE FOOD, NOT FOR ENTERTAINMENT (movies, outings) BUT FOR CONCERT TICKETS. I NEED MONEY IN MY BANK TO BACK ME UP. And this sucks. So yeah you're probably thinking "since you need money so badly then just go work lah".

B.U.T. BUT. BUT. BUT.

Today, I spent my entire day at home.

I woke up, washed up, practiced, had breakfast, do nothing, had lunch, practice, do yoga, and now I feel like going for a jog later on.

IT FEELS GREAT AND I WANNA DO THIS EVERYDAY. Well, not exactly but you get what I mean? If people can lose weight when they work then why are there still so many fat workers around? Feeling tired doesn't mean losing weight, travelling to work and back doesn't mean losing weight it's not like I jogged to work? Standing in the train, you might wanna argue that it'll help lose weight but oh come on if it really helps then there won't be any fat people in this world anymore.

My sis's friend is in the army and they had all those routines to make them keep fit and I thought that I can just try it out during my entire holiday break.

I'm still thinking about it but I don't have much time left...

On a side note, IT'S THE LAST DAY OF EXAMS AND FIRST DAY OF HOLIDAYS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I haven't started studying. OH SHITTTTTTTT.

do not take people's kindness for granted

2011-08-29T22:38:00.004+08:00

Hi everyone, seeing everyone updating their blogs diligently gave me an urge to blog too! And it's just so coincident that there's something I wanna talk about too!

Well before that, my life = studying. It's not over yet!!!!! Two more days, just two more days....! And here comes my holidays!!!! I haven't had a holiday in soooo long!!!!!! It's true. My previous term break was God-knows-how-many pathetic weeks which was filled with worrying about projects, online tests, and what not... My previous previous term break was.... My internship. Which was my worse holiday ever since it's not even a holiday. BUT HERE IT IS, FINALLY, a good holiday for me to finally take a break and relax.

Not....? Yes I know you know the whole world knows that I have some financial difficulties right now and to solve it, I really wanna find a job to get some extra income. Let me answer a question first. A lot of people wondered how I survived so long without working at all, I mean look at all the gmarket stuff that I have and I honestly paid for all of it with the money from my bank account. They wondered because they forgot I used to own a blogshop. I WISH, I could re-open it but the blogshop industry now is too huge and the competition sucks. Plus advertising, it all takes a lot of time and effort, what not opening sprees which you'll have to deal with a lot of other nonsense. I was free last time, now I'm not. Lol. I used to handle T-journals, now I need to handle consolidate journal entries, budgeting whatever and worse of all, law. But well, point is that yes, I really want to find a job but the thought of working throughout my holidays just sucks...... But I don't know, I'll still go for interviews... And pray that God will put me in the right path!

So what I wanna talk about is that... People should not take people's kindness for granted. A lot of people say things like "nobody care about me" and stuff like that but when people care for them, they don't seem to appreciate and cherish them for caring about them. It's just ridiculous especially when you care for someone and that person just gives you some attitude which is like what the....... 1. I did not make you angry. 2. I'm kind to care for you. I don't know why some people are just like that like "I'm like that cuz I'm not happy" like what? So when you're angry, the whole world offends you? And when nobody cares about you you're like "nobody care about me...."?! Nobody, will wanna get themselves "attitude-d at"(lol). We don't live to please you so people, if someone cares about you when you're down, reply them nicely and not give them attitude because they will only leave you alone the next time you're down.

Since I'm here I might as well continue.

Some people are also really..... I don't know, weird? First of all, it's not that I want to talk to you. It's not that I like you. It's not that I can be bothered talking to you. But it's just weird that you used to talk to this person everyday and now you don't talk. Even though I honestly don't really wanna talk to you, it feels weird. Not because I miss talking to you but it's like AWKWARD. To close this awkward gap, I decided to talk to you one day to act like no I don't don't like talking to you, not that I really don't like talking to you but more like I'm being neutral? Turns out that things became even more awkward....... I don't know what weird people are thinking seriously.

Yups.

One a side note, MAMA in Singapore is just WTF. What were you guys thinking seriously..... I swear everywhere is gonna crash on that day, the airport is gonna crash, the hotel is gonna crash, THE ROADS WILL ALL CRASH. Singapore is so small, WE HAVE NOT ENOUGH LAND FOR YALL. Fans from neighbouring countries will flood us and it's not even funny. Well.... if it's affordable, I'll totally be going for sure. If it's not... Then I guess I'm not. What are all these? TEMPORARY HAPPINESS.

money matters and shoes

2011-08-27T19:15:00.003+08:00

Quick quick update for yall!!!!!! Exams period right now. I'm left with 2 papers and I have 2 days left to study for the 2 papers and I haven't started on any of them... OH MY GOD. I'm totally in holiday mood right now, basically, I can't wait for my exams to be over!!!!!!!! Like, BE, OVER, NOW, ALREADY!!! Grrrrrrrrrr.

Feeling stressed recently thanks to the papers SIGH. EVERYTHING ALSO EXAM FAULT. Ordered a pair of flatforms which have yet to arrive...... WHY!!!!!! First it came in the wrong size, next it wasn't even in the shipment?!!!! I am so annoyed?!!! SIGH. And now I've eyes on another pair of shoes. I know I have like 12 pairs of shoes already but when was shoes enough? After all "any kind of shopping will eventually lead to shoes-shopping". And well yes, I've been really broke recently, my bank account was like dried up like no joke it's like there's some sun inside my bank account that has been evaporating my money inside at the speed of Junhyung running at the idol sports athletes championship. NO JOKE. But well everything in Singapore is expensive!! What to do. Moreover I'm a poor fangirl sobs sobs. Hahaha 40 bucks just flew away for a few hours.... or 1 hour probably of GD, Tabi and Seungri. I COULD HAVE BOUGHT THE SHOES WITH THAT MONEY?!!! Or just save it in my bank?! But ok........... I guess it's worth it.

Most of money are also not spent on clothes lor, it's FOOD and TRANSPORT! Once a week I'll definitely spend $10 on transport and one meal kinda cost me around $10 recently like $8 or $7 lah you know... including or excluding drinks which I'd always get bubble tea which is like $2+? I wish wish wish wish I can get a job at UT point, I would freaking walk to work everyday.

But anyway I'm more than determine to look for a freaking job!!!!!!!!!! I think I have nothing much to do during my holidays anyway. TIME TO EARN MONEY MONEY MONEY!!!!!!!!!

The weather today is awesome right? I was suppose to be out study but because I had to clean my messy room and cook breakfast and lunch, I decided to stay home which........ Is not a bad decision I guess since I feel extremely lethargic and just..... I-wanna-stay-at-home. BUT, I gotta start studying fo'real later............ I hope I can buy some pizza to eat while I study but HAHAHAHA FAT HOPE NO MONEY FOR PIZZA. Yes ok that's all.

p/s: Had some spare times today to record and update my channel! Check it if you know! ^^

another piece of my mind

2011-08-20T22:56:00.003+08:00

I really don't like it when people see me as "oh another one of those kpop fangirls". We all know kpop is like God damn famous in Singapore right now. If you take a stone and throw it across Singapore, if it hits a girl, she's most likely a kpop fan. Even those people who listens to only English songs and all you know those very ang-moh kind of people also starting to listen to kpop. This is not the first time I'm saying this here but yes I hate how famous it is right now. I hate clicking on any random twitter or blog and see that person spazzing about kpop. It's so famous and common now that people categorize us fangirls together. And I don't want to be be a same category as them.

ESPECIALLY WHEN MY FRIENDS THINK THAT WAY. That "oh you're just another one of those girls". CUZ I'M NOT. I can't be going around telling the whole world everyday to every person that "hey I'm not like them ok" but I'm just gonna say this for the last time hopefully, that I'm NOT LIKE THEM.

I'm into kpop since I was secondary 2, in 2006. And that's about 5 years already. When I was into kpop, NOBODY KNEW KPOP. AND NOBODY CARED. I just wished you guys will know how I'm feeling and just put yourselves into my shoes. I watched Kpop grew into Singapore, grew into my friends. The people whom I refrain myself from talking to them about Kpop, now comes talking to me about it EVERY TIME EVERYWHERE. I DON'T LIKE THE CHANGE. Kpop was famous since 2010. I was spazzing alone, always alone in my kpop world for about 4 years. I don't like changes. And I don't like being seen like the same as everyone else when I'm clearly not.

I just wanna danceeeeeeeee

2011-08-20T22:17:00.002+08:00

Hey guys! Having nothing to do right now, I decided that I should blog. Few updates! On Tuesday I met Lx to get my long craving koi. It has been soooo long since I drank koi!!!!! So we finally went to get it and a last minute decision to catch the Rise of Planet Apes at JP!

The rest were going there to catch Zookeeper so we met up for awhile...... Then we went in first. Then we met them for dinner... But we didn't exactly had dinner together... The guys had Ajisen and we had Pepper Lunch. I just realized that I haven't seen them for a hell long time, it just feels like........ Like we're not friends anymore... BUT WE STILL ARE. So it's weird. Hahaha.

Went to the dance studio again on Wednesday for practice. We managed to take some videos in which I will reveal the private links here for your viewing pleasures behind Ash's and Lx's backs cuz you guys are the best.......... Just kidding. HAHAHAHA. You think I'm gonna dig my own grave like that huh.

We were SO EXHAUSTED after that as we head to Lot 1 for Sakae.......... BUT NO WAIT, Sakae just had to be on renovation. So after much discussion we decided to head to NYNY.

We had the most quiet meal of our life... I guess. We were so tired we didn't even bothered talking. Hahaha.

Then just yesterday, we went to Ashley's house, the 3 of us again, for a last minute steamboat and studying session. The plan was supposed to be overnight studying... But my dad offered to pick me up and Lx decided to go home instead. So yeah..... Enjoyed the steamboat anyhow! :)

My life recently just consist of practicing and studying. Exams are around the corner! In fact... IN TWO DAYS TIME OMG. I haven't finished half of what I'm suppose to study. I'm so screwed. I REALLY can't wait for exams to be over. I want to dedicate my time practicing and playing lol. Though I just found out that my bank has a pathetic balance of $30............. And I have to use that $30 to pay for my SS3 3D ticket....................... I NEED MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy birthday baby boy & happy 5th anniversary bigbang ♥♥♥

2011-08-18T00:00:00.005+08:00

(I made that image above!! Hehe) Date check, it's 8/8/2011 now and in 10 days time it will be 18/8/2011 which is today as in "today", where this post will be officially published! Yup, here I am again preparing for these two extremely important dates way even before it's original dates. Instead of separating the two events into two posts because they actually occur on different dates, I'm gonna combine them together into this post this year.

What two events? What two dates?

Bigbang's G-dragon Birthday (18/8) and Bigbang's anniversary (19/8)!!♥ Every year I come here and type all my hopes and wishes, how I feel, how I found them, how I fell in love with them, etc, with an anxious and happy heart. This year it's still the same, somehow I'm even trembling while I'm typing this because I know that this year is gonna be different... It's gonna be even more special.

I shall keep you in suspense even though for you it's nothing big I guess. Let's take a tour back into the days once again shall we?^^

Happy birthday G-dragon posts

2008 part 1 | 2008 part 2 | 2009 | 2010

Happy Bigbang anniversaries post

2008 | 2009 | 2010

Time flies, I can't believe this is the 5th time I'm celebrating their anniversary already. I feel so overwhelmed by my own emotions when I saw all my posts for Bigbang's anniversary. I can't believe I have them in my life for 4 years+ already, it's just such a heart-warming fact...

Recently I've been flooded with another boy group (and I don't wanna mention them in a Bigbang post, but I BET you know who I'm talking about). People think that my biases have shifted places whether in terms of group or person. To clear any doubts whatsoever, I firmly let everyone know now that NO. Bigbang and Jiyong will always be my number 1 bias. ALWAYS. It's been 4 years+, there's this strong bond that even if they don't release anything new, even if they don't have any activities, even if I don't talk about them at all, the bond stays.

So as I've mentioned, this year's post will be different, yes it would...

Everything's different now...

I used to say things like "out of all my bias, the first one is the only one I haven't seen in person before" "I wish I can get to see Bigbang" "The first full-scale concert I'll attend in my life has to have Bigbang"....... But now it's different..........

BECAUSE I FINALLY GOT TO SEE THEM IN PERSON LAST YEAR AND THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I CAN NEVER CONTROL MY EXCITEMENT WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT.

It's just such a mind-blowing experience to watch them perform to have Seungri bending down to fan-service to you, to have Taeyang dancing right in front of you, to have GD jumping around doing this thing in front of you, to have Daesung waving to you, to have TOP well... walking past you, IT'S JUST A-MA-ZING. Yes I've said this before, it's a geez-in-my-pants thing. YES IT IS.

Last year for the Kpop Night 2010 post, I only posted ONE picture of my baby GD because er I forgot the reason so TODAY, I SHALL POST THE PICTURES OF HIM THAT I TOOK (not all because it's really a lot), and also all the fancams!

Shall we go back to those precious moments?

KPOP NIGHT VIDEOS

**The "Number 1 (2/2)" video is where Taeyang danced right in front of me!!!!!!!!!!!! *SPAZZ*

KPOP NIGHT PICTURES

KOREAN MUSIC WAVE VIDEO

GD and TOP at Conrad Hotel

**This was seriously... Two words... THANK GOD! It was really God's fate, arrangement, luck, I don't know but THANK YOU GOD for making the 2 Bigbang members to be GD and TOP!!♥♥

I was beyond depressed when I couldn't go KMW due to the serious lack of funds.... But at least I still got to see him!!!!!!!! RIGHT? ^^ And well Tabi too hehe.

After getting to see them I feel like my life is complete, you know, no more goals in life, all that stuff BUT haha today I decided that I shall set a new goal and that is to attend BIG SHOW/YG FAMILY CONCERT. EITHER ONE, I tell you my life will be TRULY COMPLETE. I'm getting a little off track now so I'll bring myself back and end off this post with messages from me to my boys:

To G-Dragon: Happy 24th Birthday!!!!! You're so old already. Hehe I read your message to VIPs just now and it felt so goooooood. You wanted lots of congratulations for your birthday this year and so here it is! Thank you for your hard work, always doing what's best for Bigbang and always wishing that Bigbang will remain as 5 forever. As a VIP, it made me feel more secure knowing that you and the other members feel that way too. I'm glad you've grown to be a stronger person, facing all the bad rumors strongly, but don't push yourself too much and if you ever need strength, just remember that VIPs will never turn their backs on you and even if the whole world doesn't believe you, VIPs will. There is so little that I can do for you when you're doing so much for us VIPs that I feel sad. If I live in Seoul I would cook meals for you everyday to ensure you're eating well. I would send letters to you everyday to let you know that I'm always here for you, I would go to all your music shows, variety shows, radio shows recordings to cheer for you. But as a foreign fan, there is really so little that I can do for you. I used to write fan letters to you everyday without fail via ygbigbang but I stopped. I promised to write often but I did not. I'm so sorry... Please know that I still love you no matter what happens! I hope you success in everything you do, I hope you'll come up with even greater music because I know that's what you're capable of. It's Bigbang's 5th year already, thank you for being in my life for all these years whether I'm happy, sad or angry, Bigbang's songs will always accompany me. That I'm very very thankful for. Thank you for the smiles you've put on my face, for the excitement you've given me in my life. Please be healthy and happy always. I love you, so much, forever. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

To Daesung: I put you second because I know this year will be hard for you... I believe it wasn't your fault and that it was all just an accident. However I know it's hard not to think about it. You're going to take a break for the rest of the year. I think it's good, that you can have this break of your own. No matter what, VIPs will always support you. You're nicknamed Smiling Angel because of your gorgeous smile that will light up everyone's hearts, I wish to see that smile again. I hope you'll come back as a stronger and happier Daesung. I can't wait to see you back with the other boys. It's Bigbang's 5th anniversary and there will be more to come, we'll celebrate a 6th, 7th, 8th, and so on anniversaries together. I love you ♥

To Taeyang: Happy 5th anniversary! I have nothing much to worry about you haha thanks for your hard work all these years. People say you should change your hairstyle but...... I cannot imagine you in another hairstyle so I guess... You can stick to your mohawk. I'm not gonna be all "thanks for taking care of my GD" today haha instead....... Thanks for creating a twitter for giving me a chance to be closer to you and also typing in English most of the time! Of course sharing selcas of GD is bonus.....^^ I hope you'll stay successful, healthy and happy. We'll continue celebrating anniversaries together! I love you ♥

To Tabi: I've been calling you Tabi since God knows when that it has become such a habit... I hope you'll release a solo album soon, you have so much potential, I really wish you'd try out solo too but of course double combos are better and as Bigbang you're invincible hehehe. It was a surprise to be able to see you again this year, you walked out of the van waving like no one's business haha you're really Bigbang's joker. I hope you'll remain trouble-free as always and that I won't have to worry about you as well. Success in both singing and acting career! And also I hope you'll improve dancing so I can see more nice moves from Bigbang. I love you ♥

To Seungri: My Jerry boy that has been climbing up my bias list. You're my 3rd bias in Bigbang but you're last because you're maknae. Haha thank you for your priceless fan-service and of course the laughter you're given as well. Your poker face, your jokes on GD, really made me feel a lot happier when I watch you. You've improved soooo much and you have no idea how proud I was watching your solo performances. I was really really impressed you L.A man. Hahaha all the high notes were all so so so impressive! Hopefully GD will give you more parts so you can shine more in future! I love you ♥

Love,

Your forever VIP...

prepix showcase

2011-08-15T16:07:00.004+08:00

Hey bees. I'm probably gonna sound like a total mean freak in this post but bear with it, please. I had enough of being kind and nice to a person like that so today I shall break my own rule that I set for myself that I should be kind to everyone and anyone. I believe God will forgive me. Haha.

So last afternoon I tweeted if anyone knows @prepix's showcase timing. I was obviously asking my t-list and prepix since I @prepix? It's like I don't need you to freaking reply me 6 hours later if you're not in my t-list? Yes? Especially when I don't even know of your existence that is. What's more someone in my t-list had already found the even more accurate timing from esplanade's website itself. It was a 9.15pm show, you replied me 9pm and I'll talk about that later.

I met Lx at Bpp and we prepared gifts for both prepix and b2st and here is the damn point. No wait before the damn point, I just wanna clarify that I definitely have no hate feelings towards prepix, they are awesome bunch of people and I totally like them, I like their choreography, and I like how close they are with B2st. But yeah the damn point is I AM A B2UTY. I am a fan of B2st, not a fan of a dance crew. Being a B2uty doesn't include needing to be a fan of their dance choreographer, if it's so then do I have to be a fan of their hair and make-up artist? Their album photographer? Their printing album company? IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. I know prepix, but to spend my time figuring out their similar faces and names when I'm not a fan of them? No way. If I claim to be a hardcore prepix fan then it's really fail but what? Prepix? Where are they on my bias list? They are not even top 100 because they're not even in it. So me being me, threw in some gifts and letter for Junhyung^^ I hope he receives it because I want him to feel that even if he is not in Singapore, I still think about him!^^^^ That is I hope prepix is kind enough to pass it to him, which I am sure he would.

We arrived at the venue and we got the front row seats. The performances wasn't as cool as I expected but the dance crews only had 16 hours of practice so I guess it's still cool. Here's the performance of a Singapore dance crew with Prepix Haw and Joony which I spent about 3 hours uploading onto Youtube.

After it ended we went backstage and Haw walked over to us to take our presents! Awesome^^ He is really nice, we kinda had an awkward moment cuz after he took it and after we said thanks and all, we had nothing to say. After the awkward moment we asked for a picture and he got us to wait for awhile. Some pictures of the present!

Prepix crew's letter with a ..... diagram of what's for them and what's for B2st. HAHA. I thought of the paper decoration myself and colored it myself so whoever tries to steal this idea, I'm gonna hunt you down. My letter was kinda... I don't know. Haha I'm like "your twitter profile picture is smiliar to junhyung's. what project are you guys preparing? i want a similar profile picture too. etc etc etc" I'm such an obvious b2uty.

^^^^^^Hehehe letter for my Bb Junhyung.

Cute socks that I wished I could keep for Junhyung! Or Yoseob. I don't know. They can share it.

Joony holding our presentsssssss^^^^^ I totally risked my life taking this shot. There was this fierce looking guy sitting on the floor smoking and I just flashed in his face. LOL. I swear he stared at me but I just walked away LOL.

Prepix's arm is really heavy.......... I look at this picture seriously wondering what's their height to see how I'm like beside Junhyung. HAHA.

We even took a selca with Joony! I swear I was trembling lol he was too close!! We left later on feeling happy and all when someone just had to ruin our day. Here's the full story. We tweeted the picture taken with them and we mentioned prepix and prepixwassup. We assumed Joony=prepixwassup because everyone was thanking him for the wonderful showcase etc on his Facebook and you see it's not like he is famous?! LOL yes yes your poor Joony and wassup that people mixed them up yes that is your fucking problem and I don't give a fuck whether I got them mixed up or what. What's the big deal?

You said that you were just trying to correct us otherwise we will be xiasuay. First of all, why would anyone care so much if a stranger xiasuayed themselves? Secondly, nobody xiasuay here leh. I know stupid people's brain cannot function well without example so here is it. It's like my mom mixes up b2st and shinee, very xiasuay meh? She also no their fan of course she won't know what right?! My lecturer asked me if 2ne1 is wonder girls. Xiasuay meh? No what? Just reply say nope is 2nE1 lah? What's so xiasuay? I mentioned wassup thinking he is Joony, wassup should be the one that's xiasuay cuz he should know that he is not famous. Yes? I always make sense. Next, trying to correct us.... by tweeting crude tweets? And you think we won't get offended by what you said? Isn't that funny? 1. We don't know you. 2. We didn't mention you. 3. It's totally none of your business. 4. You mentioned us trying to correct us by being rude. 5. We get offended. 6. You say we kp you? What kind of sense do you have? Who was the one who wanna be busybody and mention us first? You. Who was the one who kp us first? You. And you expect us to reply to you nicely as if you're totally right by being rude? So at that point I decided to reply to your earlier mention about the showcase timing. I WAS TRYING TO CORRECT YOU. And you were offended too what right? This is a freaking taste of your own medicine seriously. And then you said that we even asked you to help us take a picture just now? Er no we didn't? We asked your friend who was like much more nicer than you are and your friend actually said ok. Why? Is asking your friend to help us wrong? No it's not. Yet another invalid argument. And you know.... I don't care how many pictures you take with them and I don't know why you were trying to "show off"?????? LOL?? You know how it feels like? You getting to take pictures with them feels like a random person in the lecture hall getting to take pictures with my lecturer to me. Idgaf LOL. Oh right you also mentioned that even your friend said that....whatever. Wow. What you don't know is that even my mom, my dad, my relatives and my ancestors who just came out of the gates of hell are saying that you're lame. LOL. Who the hell is "my friend"?! Seriously?! You think I'd care what a "my friend" would say? Isn't it ridiculous lol I would like to add another example since this is rather fun. Even my Friendster friends say you dumb. HAHAHA. There is one tweet where I have to agree with you though, which is that wassup very poor thing still need to mention me to tell me it's not him. I thought so too, having to face the fact that people actually don't recognize you, yeah it's sad. I really wonder what else you've got to say because after all, even if we defame you, YOU ASKED FOR IT. Your friends who helped you and defended you were obviously blindly doing so. Shame on you guys, but after all a bird of feather flock together. Burn in hell you useless beings! LOL just kidding. Go to church and ask for forgiveness. HAHAHA.

every exit is an entrance to somewhere else

2011-08-12T18:56:00.003+08:00

Hellooooo guys! New blogskin so I figured out.. How about a new blog post too? I love love love love my new blog song. It's amazing right? I know you don't know what song this is so I'll tell you HAHAHA it's "I Remember" by Bang Yong Guk feat. bb Seob ^^^^^^ Awesome combination.

Boring week, I basically spent the entire week except for Tuesday rotting my ass at home. I totally regretted that trip to ECP on Tuesday, which was also National Day! We went on a picnic and I got sunburned so badly it still hurts now! I obviously hate the fact that I'm now like probably 3 tones darker... Rah!!!! :@

The trip was fun though... We had loads of good food to eat, we had coconut juice, packet drinks, fruit salad, sandwiches, etc. The reason why I got sunburnt was because my sis and I refused to get out of the sun as we were digging a damn well. You know, when you dig in deep, water from the sea will come in... So basically we were digging a "well" and it was so deep and so huge and the water inside was no joke seriously haha so yeah it was so much fun............

Anyway, yes I spent the whole week at home in other words I did not go to school at all. I BROKE MY OWN RECORD OF SKIPPING SCHOOL. This is insane seriously. I felt bad towards my attendance, I wonder how is it now and I sincerely pray that they have stopped taking attendance... And I'm actually more worried about my attendance than my progress in school. How crazy is that?!!!!!! But anyway I hope my face the other parts of my body that was sunburnt will recover as soon as possible... It's so red and gross right now I don't know I just don't wanna step out of my house. +My face looks bloated these days omg bet I gained weight.

This post is making me depressed and so I'll stop here.

On a happier note, I bought a new pair of sandals! One that I always wanted but an even nicer version and a cheaper one! I'm so happy. I'm pretty tight on cash right now not to mention that I have to actually save for you-know-what goods haha.

I'm sorry for sucha wordy post because I don't have my camera with me. I'm hungry!!!!!!! xxxo

white cupcakes

2011-08-06T19:52:00.002+08:00

I baked cupcakes today!!!!!!!!! Because I was bored and needed some entertainment in my life. While washing the dishes I decided to dance along to Mr.Simple. Ah, bad idea since I made the floor wet as well haha. I followed the recipe for white cupcakes because I hate yellow cupcakes. I guess it succeeded! But it didn't puff up as much as I expected that's why it's so small (and cute).

Hehehehehehe in a great mood! Now... Haha everyone's studying for exams while I'm baking and spamming Junhyung all day on twitter.

한국어 날 ~

2011-08-05T11:39:00.003+08:00

안녕하세요! 오늘은 난 한국어 사용 할께요!ㅋㅋ 요즘 난 한국어는 많이 사용했다. 내 한국어는 잘 못해요 그럼 더 한국어 연습하고 싶어요. ^__^ 지금 학교에 있어요. 이 수업이 완전 지루해요... 재미없어요. 최근에, 쇼핑과 파티 너무 가고싶어요... 근데 내 친구을 다 바빠요...ㅠㅠ 어떻게요... 큐브 오디션 연습도 하고싶어요ㅜㅜ 요즘 친구를도 한국어는 사용했다.. 무슨 말을해야 모르겠지만, 한국어 모른다면, 사용하지마요... 이렇게 갑자기 반말 했어, 이렇게 갑자기 '당신이"했어... 진짜 이상해요. 암튼... ㅠㅠ지금 너무 배고파요.. 파스타 먹어싶어요.ㅠㅠ

이번 달 이미 8월이에요... 이번 달은 내 제일 좋아하는 권지용의 생일이에요!!!!ㅋ 이번 달은 도 제일 좋아하는 빅백의 기념이 이에요!!! 와우~ 기분이 흥분해요.. ^__^ 선물을 포기할까?ㅋ 자.. 난 여기 끝나할께요... 모두 건강해요!!! 뿅~

dance sushi nails

2011-08-04T20:52:00.002+08:00

Hey guys! Finally back to rush a post. I've been dragging this post for quite awhile now so just wanna rush through it before I end up no blogging it. Last Saturday we booked a dance studio for 2 hours to supposedly practice for Cube's audition. First of all, my thoughts of the audition:

I don't have high hopes for it, I want it but I don't feel like it. I'm afraid of rejections and knowing that I'm not good enough, however I will definitely still try because it's worth trying and even if I don't make it even to the first round I guess I'll just work harder? I look at those people performing, tall and flawless, I lose confidence. The audition isn't straight forward, after passing round 1, you'll have to go through a series of training whatsoever before they finally decide if you can pass and be their trainee. You have to quit school, leave your family, and I'm not sure if I can do that. Reasons for joining is because I'd very much like to have a career that matches my interest. Accounting...... What? Hah well in any case I'll still be joining, as least for now.

Speaking of this gradually reminded me of something and that is, my height honestly doesn't bother me a lot, I don't really think it's a huge deal, I know I'm short but not to the extent of being abnormally short or that anyone will be like "OMG YOU'RE SO DAMN SHORT" no. I've seen a lot of people that are shorter, not that it comforts me that it just doesn't mean a lot of me. If you ask me what I'd like to change about my appearance I would most probably miss out "height". Sometimes I joke about it but after all it's still a sensitive topic. There are people out there constantly hinting, yes hinting, to me that being short will not be able to make the cut. As I've mentioned I'm not really bothered by it but people, saying things like these ruins your own appearance.

Back to our topic, we went to the dance studio which was a nice place, I forgot to take more pictures haha I hope to be back there soon! It's a nice place to slack at. Later, we went to Sakae and because we had nothing else to do we even went to do manicure! I love mine! But it's chipping already.........................

happy birthday junhyung's mom

2011-07-25T10:43:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNHYUNG'S MOM!!!! (second row on the left)
Thank you for taking care of Junhyung!!!! HEHEHE. Junhyung loves his mom a lot, even his tattoo was chosen by his mom and for his mom. AWWWWW. HEHEHEHEHEHE.

If you're wondering, from the top row left to right, Kikwang's, Hyunseung's, Junhyung's, Yoseob's, Dongwoon's, Doojoon's :)

July Snow

2011-07-25T10:26:00.003+08:00

Hiiiiii everyone! I wanted to blog about this earlier but Photobucket wasn't working again... Well it's working now but I don't have the images with me (lol) so no pictures!!!! Yet. I shall update this post l8r if I remember haha! Anyway, last Saturday, Lx and I went to..... SNOW CITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^^

It was at a promotion price of $18 for 2 hours of snow play + a free cup of hot chocolate! U.P $27 and the hot chocolate is worth $3! So it's like $30...^^ Hahaha ok so the snow there was like ice... Like ice kachang ice. YUPS, you cannot make a snow man there or even a snow ball but I guess just the cold temperature there makes it fun haha feels like we're in Korea or something!! HAHA so there's the 3 stories high slide which was the most fun thing there lol but you have to climb all the way up which kinda sucks..... Hahaha there's the "solo slide" and the wider slide where you can slide with your friends or whatever.

The solo slide is so fun (T ^ T) LOL IT'S SO FREAKING FAST AND it's uneven so sometimes it feels like you're gonna fly off your tube LOL. The wide one is fun too and it's quite fast too!! Then my sis came with weeloon and we started attacking each other ah....... Not good lol bloody cold when the "snow" goes inside your clothes and your clothes turn wet and when you go back in you feel like the temperature is -24738943 degrees... Haha so we left after 1hr and 50min of snow play!

Had our hot chocolate, checked our pictures (you can't bring your camera in so there are like photographers inside to take pictures of you..... and you can view them outside and print it if you want) and left to IMM! We had Pepper Lunch!!!!!!!!!! It was awesome please LOL. It's the new curry menu!!!! It's super nice. Walked around, bought some yoghurt ice-cream and then went home ^^

I had soooo much fun on Saturday and we reached home at about 7PM++? NOT BAD RIGHT? Lesser people = Easier to get things done! We're gonna have more of this kind of simple and fun Saturdays! /LOOKINGFORWARDTOEVERYSATURDAY xDD

OH! And also on Friday, all of us skipped school and went to town to shop! Bought some stuff that cost like $50 over in total... SOBS... BUT ONCE IN AWHILE, and I totally need new clothes man.... I had fun too! Hope to go out more hehe school is draining me.

korean music wave 2011

2011-07-16T15:24:00.002+08:00

HELLOOOOOOO!!! HEHEHE expect an exciting blog post my dear cuz I can feel da excitement while I type!!!!!!! Just kidding. But hell yeah did I had a rewarding night yesterday. As you all know, I have no tickets to the Korean Music Wave 2011 last night however I still went to the venue to listen to them perform. We reached at about 6pm? Then we went for dinner at Kallang Leisure Park before heading to the stadium. We sat outside, there were no screen whatsoever, we can only hear them perform and screams.

Managed to catch a few, before 2NE1 started their performance, I got Lexin to go up with me hahaha just to be closer.... Then halfway we decided to go to the back door to catch Ukiss leave the venue... We took the lift down from 2nd floor to the 1st and I swear it takes at least 40 seconds. SERIOUSLY IT'S DAMN SLOW!!!!!!! So after Ukiss left, we went back up and just nice Bigbang were out performing TONIGHT!!!!! Me and a group of fangirls stood outside peeping through this small portion of a glass door that wasn't covered.... We couldn't see anything but the lighting effects lah...

Then at the top we suddenly heard screams from downstairs - meaning that another group is leaving the venue! Me and Lx was like "should we go down? which group we also don't know..." so last minute while their van was driving out, we decided to run down the stairs instead of taking the damn lift!!! Then we ran to the whatever that is called... The part where you have to scan your credit card so you can leave the car park and just in time to see The Boss and X-5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS SO AWESOME!!! THEY WERE IN A MINI BUS, THUS CLEAR WINDOWS AND THEY WERE SOOOOO CLOSE TO US AND THEY WERE ALL SMILING AND WAVING AT US!!! I bth so I chased after their van but obviously I wasn't fast enough BUT, apparently this X-5 member turned around and kept waving to us even though we're rather far already!!!!!!!!!! IT'S SO NICE OF HIM SERIOUSLY!!!! Only me and Lx were at that venue so it's like WINx infinity!!!!!

Oh before that, managed to hear Bigbang's solo performances but not all. Then our cab came so we cabbed to Conrad hotel. The original news was that YG will be going back directly from the stadium so I was quite sad....... I thought I won't have the chance to see 2NE1 already! So we cabbed to the hotel and it was pouring just when we're about to alight. What luck haha.

First to reach after we've reached was Miss A!

Sorry it's like so LQ when I have the HD version........ Youtube and WMP sucks. Suzy wasn't there, apparently she left already. Me and Yy shouted "JIA!!!!" when she walked past us and she turned to see us!!!! My fancams were so dark because well it's like 12MN already then...

AND AFTER THAT, the guy at the hotel told us that BIGBANG IS COMING TO THE HOTEL!!!!!!!! I'm like OMFG cuz I thought I won't have a chance to see them yesterday already!!!!! He said that only 2 members but 2 MEMBERS IS BETTER THAN NONE. Plus FT Island and the rest including 2NE1 will be leaving for Korea from the stadium.

So he was like "ok next is FT Island" but who knows....... NEXT WAS 2NE1!!!!!!!!!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I heard someone shouted "2NE1!" and I'm like "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! 2NE1!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH MINZY AHHH DARA CL BOM AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" LOL the girl beside me was like "I can see you're really a 2NE1 fan ah" LOL..... I TOTALLY WASN'T EXPECTING THEM OK!!!!! I was screaming MINZY like mad cuz she's my bias and she turned to see me!!!!!!! (CAN SEE IN THE FANCAM!!!) Dara and CL waved to us!!!!!!!! AAAAH!!!!! MAD CHIO MAD CHIO ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEHEHEHE NEXT WAS FT ISLAND!

I THINK I DAMN LUCKY PLEASE. MY BIAS HONGKI♥♥♥, WAVED AT US!!!!!!! I THINK THE FANCAM ALSO CAN SEE RIGHT?!!!! DAMN LUCKY AAAAH!!!!!!!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEH I'M LIKE HONGKI!!! HONGKI HONGKI HONGKI!!!!!!! LOL

OKOK so after that... they confirmed that the two members of Bigbang is... MY BB BOY KWON JIYONG♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ AND TABI♥♥♥♥!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW LUCKY CAN I GET SERIOUSLY!!!!!

Although GD didn't look up, AT LEAST CAN GET TO SEE HIM RIGHT?!!!! HEHEHEHEHEHE MAD CUTE MY BBBOY AS USUAL.^^^^ TABI KEPT WAVING WAVING WAVING LIKE SO LOL HE IS DAMN TALL AND CUTE ALSO LAHHH OMG LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE MY BB BOYS!!!!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!!!!!!

Hehehehe after that was quite pathetic, it started raining HEAVILY and we had to run under the rain cuz only Yy had an umbrella... We waited for a cab in the cold for like an hour cuz ppl kept snatching our cabs!!! BUT ANYHOW, I STILL ENJOYED MYSELF SO MUCH. TOTALLY A WORTHY TRIP♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

happy 18th birthday chengsheng!

2011-07-14T17:43:00.002+08:00

Wasssup!!!!! Ohayo everyone, whatever that means. Photobucket is FINALLY working which means I can finally blog about stuff that are like 10000 years ago!!!! Before anything, lemme just introduce to you my current obsession, probably the best vid cut ever, CLICK HERE. I don't wanna sound so perv or what but OHHHHHHHHHHHH MA EEE GATTTT.

Okay so what I wanna blog about first of all hehe is HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHENGSHENG!!!!!! About a week ago was Chengsheng's birthday!!!!! Instead of our tradition of going to Kbox, we changed it this year (however hopefully we will still stick to the tradition for next year) because it's his 18th birthday and he wanted to take a look into the adult's world~~~~~

We gave him a PINK book, like a diary and wrote some stuff there. It's so hard to get a present for him. He seems like he lack of nothing. Ok so anyway we went to REBEL.. Pictures first, y/y? ^_^

The songs are REBEL were boring shit not to mention the songs earlier. It got better at the back but we were tired so we didn't stay till late. Hahaha got no idea why I felt so tired but I'm sure we all still had fun!

I've been busy and tired all day all night but I kept having problems falling asleep........... SIGH.

My mind understands that we’ve separated,

2011-07-11T16:41:00.000+08:00

but my heart doesn’t want to accept it.

Don't tell me that time will heal everything, give me a better way.

2011-07-11T14:52:00.004+08:00

miss you so much xxxo

b2st/beast 1st fan-meeting asia tour ♥

2011-07-03T21:46:00.010+08:00

YO! Hi-yeom! Wordup!!! ^__^¥ Can you already guess what I'm about to blog?!!!! So yesterday was finally B2ST'S 1ST FANMEETING ASIA TOUR IN SINGAPORE!!!!!♥

A few pictures of his present except the lightstick, you can see more in the vlog I posted before this. I mistaken deleted pictures of the fully prepared presents, yes I hate myself.

2ND JULY 2011: Let's start from what happened like real early in the morning. I went to Ash's house and at like 3AM, we went down and cabbed to Lx's house to meet Lx and Yy, then headed to Fairmount Hotel!! We waited for like 2 hours++ for them, it was a whole mess seriously. They went in by.. I don't know what some other entrance other than the main one which is really dumb and idiotic like seriously. So they were too far from us therefore passing present directly to them was impossible. First was Hyunseung, then I don't know I forgot, the most memorable one was Kikwang because he wore a tank top hahahaha sexy much lol! I didn't get to see Junhyung at all..... Because I ran in the hotel and because he walked too slowly. Haha then well we started giving the staff our present instead and get them to pass it to the boys. First was this photographer, we were like "PLEASE!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!" then he took our present and asked for who and we're like screaming names haha. But later on we found out that he didn't take our present in, in fact they left all the gifts outside on the floor w/ Beast's managers Joonkun and Sehon. Walked to them and hooked our presents onto Sehon's hand!!! Everyone started doing the same loh haha some fans inside the lobby wanted to get him to pass their presents too but he rejected them because he had too many on his hand already lol. Watched him go up the lift w/ the presents in his hand ^^♥

Went home to sleep and went out again in the afternoon for the fan meet!!! Thank God Lx managed to reach on time!!!!!! Thank God for the cab seriously!!! We managed to get in the venue on time in fact earlier to settle ourselves down.

It started off with Ken telling us the rules and all the stuff that's gonna happen that night and then an intro video, then.... BEAST!!!!!!!!!!!!♥♥♥♥ I was completely !#$^! and blanked out when they were elevated up on stage it was like so !#$%^#$!%#&!!!!!!! The hotel was pretty much ... Since I hardly saw their faces and all...

The starting song is Special!!! W/ some kind of remix added to it. EVERYONE STOOD UP! But we were pretty organised still. Ah hahaha Kikwang came over to our side during his "pop pop" part and did a pelvic thrust LOL! It ended with a firework which scared the shit out of me ok!!!! Wtf the firework was damn loud or that we were too near :)

The second song is.. SOOM!!! Omg first time watching them perform SOOM!!!!!!! It was amazingggggg yknw that kind of feeling like you finally watch them perform it live in front of your naked eyes?!!!! HAHAHA.

Then we celebrated our great leader Doojoon's birthday!!! We sang a birthday song in 4 language + adlibs by Yoseob HAHAHA. Adorable Junhyung went to eat the chocolate on the cake HAHAHAHA CUTE TO THE MAX. ♥

Then it was an interview! Let's see what I can remember from it. Eh I wasn't really listening since I was busy taking pictures. Then Ken asked what kind of style they would like to try out for their next album and they said "chic". Then he asked them to say out a secret of the member sitting beside them.

Kikwang said that Junhyung have sexy hips HAHAHAHA :3 They got Junhyung to stand up to show his hips but I didn't got to capture that moment............

(*Extremely adorable Yoseob in this fancam!!!!!!♥) Then Junhyung said that Yoseob have long limbs hahaha!! Yoseob said that Dongwoon has good visuals!

After that was the Shock performance by the dance contest winners, followed by Shock performed by Beast.

Then Beautiful, my fancam was damn wtf srsly keep blur like crazy!!!!! :@ Then game which was lame and boring..... Stupid game seriously. They played bowling. Junhyung won!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is the b2st!!!!!!! Hehehehe his bowling skills ah best. Oh Fai who was sitting in the front row got me to join her in the front row before the games started.

Next was On Rainy Days!!!!! MY FAV SONG OMG JUNHYUNG STOOD IN FRONT OF ME GOD I WAS DAMN FREAKING HAPPY I SWEAR.♥♥♥ Thx to Fai who got me into the front seat... But I don't know, he obviously saw my boards (I held two!!!!!) and I kept calling him but he kept trying to look away it's so sad... But he looked at me when he rapped!!!! Damn high so my fancam -___-...... BLAH. Whenever my fancam starts taking their body instead of their face, it just means that I wasn't looking at my fancam lah...

Next was Fiction!!!!!!! My fancam got ruined thanks to the damn photographers in front!!!!!! I HATE THEM OK I'M LIKE WTFFFFF MAX. Anw it was freaking awesome to be able to see them perform Fiction!!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING SERIOUSLY.

Then there was their mad crazy encore stage!!!!!! They got everyone to stand up so we ran to the front and I fell but well I was like in front in the middle of the stage! Pretty awesome position right.... I nearly died....... WE GOT SO CLOSE TO THEM IT'S SO AWESOME! They performed Oasis, V.I.U and I like you the best!

~~This was the only encore fancam that I uploaded~~ (UPLOADED NEW FANCAMS!!!^^) and it was before we all stood up and be choatic. JUNSEOB!!!!!!!!!♥♥♥ TOTALLY WENT CRAZY IT'S LIKE MY OTP OMG!!!! HEHEHEHE Junhyung Junhyung, I see what you did there....^^♥ Hehe Dongwoon and Yoseob kept standing on the steps and giving fan service hahaha awesome to the max, then they started throwing their towels etc!! 2:12 Yoseob pointing at our direction and me going crazy cuz of that. HEEEHEEE. Yoseob was damn cute seriously his hair so so freaking cute HAHAHA. During Dongwoon's part, the other members starting chanting "손남신" (sohn male god) HAHAHA DAMN EPIC BECAUSE the whole way through the fanmeet, Dongwoon kept asking/wanting us to chant that LOL he even did those prayers signs LOL.

(JUNHYUNG POINTED AT MY CAMERA AT AROUND 1:13!!!!! KYAAAAAAAA SPAZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!! HEHEHEHE and kwang's american dance alert: 0:50!)

(the endㅜㅜ kikwang shirt lift on the screen at the end alert!)

During V.I.U, Doojoon and Junhyung started dancing the ssanti dance HAHAHA. Let's not talk about Junhyung crying here.... And then Kwang did his american dance somewhere during the encore stage and Dongwoon followed him LOL. Towards the end, Kwang lifted up his shirt♥ HAHAHAHA SO YUPS.

After the concert ended it was the Hi-5 session! It was lame I don't know it's like lame and I paid so much for it... It was good definitely but not worth the money. Lx and maybe Yy didn't even get to Hi-5 all of them and they were like "IF NEVER HI-5 THEN TOO BAD" like wtf?!!! Sigh but anw they stood in this order: Yoseob, Dongwoon, Hyunseung, Doojoon, Junhyung and Kikwang. I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT THE ORDER RIGHT HAHAHAHAHA. My mind blanked out when I went in the room. It's like you go in the room you see people asking you to turn left so I just turned and there they are all standing there in a row. I'm like omg......... So Yoseob was damn cute hehehe I said "YOSEOB......" cuz I wanted to tell him he is so cute but I didn't had time so I just stopped there and hi-5 him. When I realized they were rushing all of us, I just chionged hi-5 the rest until Junhyung♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥! HEHEHEHE I PAUSED FOR DAMN LONG THERE AND AM SO SURPRISED NO ONE ACTUALLY PUSHED ME. I put my hand on his hand for like at least 2.5 seconds I swear LOL. I'm like shock for awhile then "오빠 힘내세요" (have strength) because Lx told me that Junhyung cried and I know he was really sad the whole way. He looked at me, smiled and nodded and said something like "네" "예" (ok) or something along that line♥♥♥♥♥♥. KYAAAAAAK!!!! HEHEHEHE chiong hi-5 kikwang and left!

We waited for them outside and they took this mini bus, when their bus passed us JUNHYUNG WAVED!!!!!!!! I WAS SO SHOCKED HEHE HE LIFTED THE CURTAIN AND WAVED♥. Sorry lah if I'm in my own world and all again but I believe he was waving to me HAHAHAHA WAS HE WAVING BEFORE HE PASSED ME? LOL DON'T KNOW, DON'T CARE, DON'T WANNA KNOW ALSO LOL. I'm so happy he did that, I don't know it's like he is happy now.....^^ ~~And I believe it's because I told him to have strength/cheer up.~~

SOME PICTURES I TOOK DURING THE FANMEET IN RANDOM ORDER, the rest of the pictures are in Facebook:

Overall I WAS REALLY HAPPY, and REALLY THANKFUL. The whole thing didn't go smoothly for us like the whole ... Junhyung thing had to happen before the fanmeet, Junhyung was so upset the whole way, Junhyung cried, we didn't get to pass our presents personally to them, Lx had lessons before hand, Lx couldn't get a cab - booked cab the cab cannot find her, other cab don't wanna go expo... and she had our tix, wanna go stalking also no van. HOWEVER, I hope Junhyung saw that we... Or rather I, because I don't think I should speak on behalf of all b2uties, still support him no matter what and I'll never ever ever ever change my bias to anyone else but him. Thankful that we didn't had a van because then I saw Junhyung's wave and it proves that he is no longer sad, thankful that we didn't leave the hotel after we passed our presents to the photographer, thankful that we stayed and put our presents on Sehon's hand who is Beast's manager instead of some unknown weird photographer, thankful that we even managed to pass our presents to someone, thankful that Lx's lessons ended early, thankful that Lx managed to get a cab on time!

I was really sad when I got home last night because I was soooooo sad it's over and they're going back to Korea already.. I MISS THEM SO MUCH ALREADY. They were seriously so cute during the whole thing. Was also sad because Junhyung cried and I couldn't figure out why (but Cube released a statement about it so it's fine now).... BUT I'M FINE NOW YUPS JUST HAVING WITHDRAWAL SYNDROMES.

Anyhow, THANK YOU YONG JUNHYUNG, YANG YOSEOB, YOON DOOJOON, JANG HYUNSEUNG, LEE KIKWANG AND SOHN DONGWOON. ♥ The fanmeet was awesome, thank you for your hard work!!!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL ♥ BEAST IS THE B2ST!♥♥♥

just before shock......

2011-07-03T21:42:00.003+08:00

Hey guys, before the post on BEAST's fanmeet in Singapore, you guys can watch this one first. My second vlog! Well I didn't take any vlogs during the day itself, it was too hectic to do so. Peace!

Life goes on...

2011-06-25T01:33:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry, for the sudden emotional post that I blogged. After the post, I figured out that I should just get my ass out of my house and satisfy them. Also, that in all circumstances, I guess it's really important to just be positive. Though it's somewhat sad to know that during times like this I only have myself to lean on, let's just say that at least I still have myself.

Still very pissed off with people.

Terrified..

2011-06-23T11:43:00.003+08:00

What is this? Waking up, fearing that you'll live?

With so much going, I just feel like in one of these days... I'm just not gonna make it anymore. I lie in bed thinking about the purpose of my life right now, the purpose of living. Do you know how it feels when the existence of family and friends is no longer important because what you're feeling now is so bad that you're willing to let go of all of that just to stop feeling it?

I'm honestly exhausted of all these bullshit that's happening. I feel so sick of studying then having bad grades then disappointing the world then well, repeat. Nobody hears me and it sucks, to have no one to talk to. Everyday, pretending that I'm happy and carefree when inside I'm dying. Everything starts putting it's pressure on me, everyone starts getting annoying. Everyone around me starts calling out to me to get me to do things that I hate, things that I'm so sick of doing, things that I don't want to do. Do they not get it?

Today I woke up, feeling really nice. The weather was cooling and I had lots of sleep. Though still tired, I thought that it would be a nice day, a nice day to finally start reading at least something. It's not gonna happen.

The number of e-mails you sent, the number of calls and smses you sent. It's enough already. Just because I don't fucking attending your damn project meeting doesn't mean I'm not doing any work. Do you know how I'm like right now? I don't get anymore allowance, I even have to pay transport myself, my bank is consistently decreasing with my mood, why the fuck do you think I would pay damn transport to go to school just for your bloody useless project meeting that can be settled at home? I do up all the work assigned to me, I DO WORK. Look at the work you give me, even things like writing up your research into report form, you give it to me. Just because I didn't turn up for your meeting and so you think I should be given extra work? I have my own research to do, I have my own research to be typed in report form, just because you traveled to school for some stupid meeting you can throw your work to me? I had enough of all these "turning up for project meeting is equivalent to contributing work" nonsense. Why are you people so narrow minded????

MST is starting in less than a week's time, in fact, in 3 days' time and I haven't started studying anything yet. The pressure is killing me..........

I don't want to live anymore.

And just so you know, I'm not bored. I'm just fucking upset.

2011-06-18T03:05:00.001+08:00

we feel it before we say it;

2011-06-18T03:02:00.001+08:00

Howdeeee! Or how... it's supposed to be spelled. Haven't got the time to update so here you go, a loooonnng update at 3AM. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEXIN (6/6), PIERRE (1/6) AND WEIHONG (5/6)!!! We had a triple birthday celebration last Saturday. Something that was planned since God knows when. I was honestly sick of the whole always-having-nothing-to-do-in-middle-of-everything so I've been wanting to plan something to fill up the gaps but to my disappointment... I don't know. It just had to rain and so the whole plan was messed up... New plans started popping out of no where it's just so... Disorganized again.

However, I guess it's still ok since we're just being us again.

We started by splitting up into groups to surprise the 3 of them. Lexin - the girls. Pierre and Whong - the guys whom I've forgotten who was in which "team".

Then I have no idea what happened but we all went to Whua's house instead of the actual plan which was to meet in 190 bus. After trying to style Whong's hair, they decided to bring him to a salon instead.

BEFORE

AFTER

I think he likes it. I think that everyone secretly wants to look good, they are probably just lazy or they don't wanna spend the money to make themselves look better and since he definitely looks better after the hair cut, he probably likes it.

After God knows how long, we finally left BP area. Met Nicholas at Citylink's NYNY where we had our dinner...

Pierre with his present!

Hm... Yeah then we went to MBS and had Cold Rock...... Then we went to MS... The guys started playing arcade while we rot. And all of a sudden they decided to go drinking ;-; I'm not very fond of going to pubs since I don't really drink... And I don't know what I can drink... But since they guys were so enthusiastic in drinking, I thought why not.

So we headed to KPO, Nicholas, Weihong and Pierre went home, and stood like 6m away from the entrance and started checking the prices before going in... After... awhile, they decided to go in and I really don't know why, like what happened or what lah but they just stopped in front of the door and no one wants to open the door?!!? Why?!!! The door was like glass and the waitresses were all staring at us since we're such a huge group and everyone just froze there............. I think there's a reason? But I don't know, I opened the door in the end. Feels like... They need me to open the door for them wahahaha.

Went in and they started browsing the menu... I have no idea what the drinks were and the only one I know is Jaggerbomb and so I had that. Thank youuuuuu Xian for sending me home...

Yup that's all, until whenever^^

our scars have the power to remind us that the past was real

2011-06-09T23:18:00.003+08:00

xxxx

2011-06-08T18:51:00.001+08:00

2011-06-08T18:48:00.000+08:00

“Once you love something, you always love it in some way. You have to. It’s, like, part of you for good."

2011-06-05T14:55:00.003+08:00

Hi! Woke up in the morning and went to meet Lx and Yy. We had Mcbreakfast together then collected my FICTION & FACT album and poster!!! Excited girls who went all the way to some industrial park with an envelope that contained $2290 to collect their tickets to happiness!!!!!! I cannot contain that excitement. We were queuing up for our tickets, the queue was short, about 2 people before us? I collected my set of tickets first before Lx, "please come to the side to check your tickets". I looked at the envelope containing the tickets... First thing I saw was "row 3". Immediately I turned to Lx who was beside me and I'm like "OMG ROW 3!!!". Haha I think everyone got a shock lol. We went out the office and sat on the floor outside the door and started sorting out our tix.

After which we went back in the office, there were no more fangirls left so we asked some questions. We were pretty calm after my burst of excitement until we went in the lift and started screaming HAHAHAHA. All that's left to do now is to take good care of myself, get some gifts and wait for the day to arrive!!!!

3 of us went separate ways after that, I went to meet Ash, Huimin and Zc. Presents shopping and a last minute decision to Ezabel's birthday celebrate at Marina Barrage! I was tired but I still went. We stayed there till about 11pm+ then cabbed home.

It was a pretty awesome day, I can't waitttttttt to go present shopping with Lx!

mblaq healing my world

2011-06-05T14:33:00.002+08:00

HEYYYY PEOPLE! How's everyone? The holidays are here!!! Awesomeness. Hehe so I went to fetch MBLAQ on Friday!!!! It was such a mess but I'd say that it went quite well? Apparently Mir remembers my board from past events and I'm soooo happy because thanks to that I actually got more attention from him. TEEHEE :B

We booked a van and planned to stalk them to their hotel. The van was fine, the driver's driving speed was fine but his attitude seriously cannot make it ok!!! I was so pissed off with him it's like we're not being rude to him we didn't shout at him and all but he just kept shouting at us like what the shit? But other than the driver and his lousy attitude, everyone went well.

Highlight of the day was that MIR TOOK OUR PRESENT!!!!!! It was really epic and especially when he turned back around and saw my board and smiled like smiled with teeth showing OH GOD HE IS SO FREAKING HANDSOME I SWEAR!!!!!! Hehehe the security stopped him but he just kept trying to take the present and in the end he got it!!!! My fancam didn't capture Mir's face thanks to myself being so jumpy and unstable after he took the present.

happy birthday daddy

2011-06-01T18:45:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday grumpy old man!

Wow I just realized I didn't had a chance to blog about my dad's birthday which was like 6 days ago, last month!! Haha so here I am now finally with pictures again!

It was a weekday, Thursday, 26th May. We went to Crystal Jade La Mian Xiao Long Bao. And it struck me that we went Crystal Jade for his birthday last year too!! So we had the xlb buffet!! It was quite sad, I didn't know I could eat so much or rather I didn't know my family could eat so little. So I'm like ordering a lot and I could still eat, I mean even though I'm full it's like it's a freaking buffet let's just eat!!! Yknw?!! Hahahaha. I even had 2 desserts.

So we went home after dindin and gave him his pressies!! ^__^ He was so happy to receive them. Mom got him 2 LEE jeans. My dad is amazing. He only wears LEE jeans it's no joke. I bet he has like all the designs and colours already (except black, well my dad doesn't wear black jeans). So awesome to have so many branded jeans hor.... Anyway hahaha, my and I got him a mp3! My dad always wanted one so he could go jogging while listening to it, we wanted to get him an ipod shuffle but we got a sony one instead. It's so much better! It comes with a proper screen, recorder, radio player, earpiece and it can be used as a thumbdrive! 4gb!! How awesome. I wish I had one like that.

Happy birthday again daddy, may you have many many many many many birthdays to come in future!! Please stay healthy, happy, cheerful, and awesome. xxxx